That's odd... if you need help with resetting your paper accounts, there is a member on ET that has quite a bit of experience with it: stock_trad3r. He's done it many many times.
Thank you for the useless interjections guys, more quality posting... Just in case this helps any other IB beginners, it turns out that before a paper trading account can be reset not only do current positions need to be closed, but all currency positions need to balanced back to the base currency of the account (according to support).