better don't go because your mind is not in order. straighten your mind first. travelling to london got nothing to do with Journals.
Great city to visit, I try to get there once a month. Brilliant from so many viewpoints - architecture, history, food, entertainment, culture etc. etc. What would you especially want to do when you get there?
Don't. First. You don't want to travel to London. Someone else wants you to travel to London and they hypnotized you to waste your time and money on something that is very unlikely to do you any real benefit. Realize that your desire is not yours and abandon it. Realize that ALL desire is not your and abandon all of them. Only rational intention is yours. Most likely, no ne ever taught you to be rational. I'm more confident of this if you attended school in the USA. So you don't have much of anything to go on. Study cognitive biases, logical fallacies, logic (including symbolic logic), software refactoring, and decision making. Read up on the concept of romanticizing and why we shouldn't do it. Realize thats what you were doing with the London thing. While doing this realize that some of what you read is absolutely wrong because the people who wrote it also did not have a very good education and were groping around in the dark. Lets thank them for that because with out them we would have a lot more groping to do in a much darker world.
One time a guy insisted I tell him the worst of it. He killed himself. He had his friends tell me he didn't want to continue living knowing that was the kind of world he was living in. -or something like that. He was a Tibetan Buddhist Lama. Dealing with suffering is a central theme in their religion. Also it was in Nepal. I don't know if he was Nepali or Tibetan but they are both countries full of tough as nuts people. That said, its not really about the world being unpleasant. Even if the world was a heaven, a man would still die with regret if all he did was spend his life snorting cocaine and molesting young women. Actually I might be wrong. I've had a few cocaine users tell me they are sure I'm wrong about that but I disagree. It might be a personal preference.