Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by bungrider, Jul 10, 2002.
May all your wishes come true.
Steve Martins four wishes
1. That all the children of the world could sing together in harmony and peace.
2. That 20 million dollars each month would be deposited in a numbered Swiss bank account for me.
3. That a month would be set aside each year for an extended 30 day orgasm brought about by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina... somebody.
4. That all my enemies would die like pigs in hell.
do they have pigs in hell??? seems to me like all the mud/shit would dry up and leave the piggies high and dry...maybe all the pigs in hell are dead and that's the point...i bet dick cheny's gonna go to hell - if "hell" is federal prison! hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa - oh wait, he can't run the country if he's in jail, so i guess W will pardon him otherwise W won't know what to say...
A guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon.
The demon asked, "Why so glum?"
The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
"Sure," the man said, "I love to drink."
"Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is
drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!"
The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great."
"You a smoker?" the demon asked.
"You better believe it!"
"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?"
"Wow," the guy said, "that's awesome!"
The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."
"Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."
"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack,
roulette, poker,slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow.
You into drugs?"
The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . .
"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big
bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want; you're dead, who cares!"
"Wow," the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation."I
never realized Hell was such a cool place!"
> > > > The demon said, "You like anal sex?'
> > > > "No."
> > > > "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays
Separate names with a comma.