I am on the cover of Newsweek!!

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by Gordon G's Mom, Jan 5, 2004.

  1. Hi Boys,

    I know some of you have already seen this photo of me.

    But given my young son's atheist rants, I felt it appropriate to respond by making a public apology for his behavior along with some background so maybe you all can cut him a little slack. All adolescent boys rebel. And perhaps I have pushed him to hard to see the ways of the Lord. And he has pushed back just a little too hard.

    I was not always a righteous and religious woman. Indeed, I was a sinner and a pawn of Satan in my misspent youth. But all it takes is one experience to bring the truth to LIGHT! And like all sinners, I was sent to dwell in the home of Lucifer. But not forever. When I die, I will leave Hell, and be at the Lord's side for eternity. But for now; I must pay for my transgressions. Hell on earth.

    One horrific night in 1984 I wandered into the bar at the very elegant Opera House Casino in North Las Vegas. I had gotten all dolled up and decided not to wear my glasses and ruin the effect. Most of you probably don't know (with a possible exception in BobCathy1) that you cannot wear glasses when you have three inch false eyelashes on anyway. Well I digress.

    Well at that bar, that very sad and regrettable night, I met a man. In my inebriated state, he seemed to be a rather dashing blur in triplicate.

    I do not remember much after that. I do know we were married at a drive through Elvis wedding chapel (also in fabulous North Las Vegas). And as a side order of punishment for my life of sin and sorrowful behavior, I was impregnated that very night. (Gordon being the blessed result).

    The next morning I awoke, saw this rather neanderthalish man I had married. Yes, we ended up in MY hotel room, so I had my glasses when I awoke very late the next day....little did I know that this man lived in the underpass where I-95 crosses Charleston. So that is how I ended up married to a homeless gent.

    Now this man, despite his incredible laziness and the fact that he is unemployable, is still not an unintelligent man. So despite the fact that Gordon had the misfortune of acquiring his looks from his father, at least Gordon is a rather clever boy. And as you know, very inquisitive (the one trait he got from me). Anyway, I think you all know that I have been supporting both Gordon and his "father" all these years. It is my Cross to bear!

    I pray for Gordon every day. As I am in the photograph attached. Not that it is relevant, but when they took that photo of me in the hospital, I was not ill. Well, not in my opinion anyway. These things are rather subjective.

    I was just there because the night before I had forgotten to take my meds, and when you are found directing traffic in the nude, they just take you to the hospital. Stupid law!! But obviously God's will, so who am I to complain? But I mean they do call it the Las Vegas Strip right? So why is it illegal to do what I did? I mean "when in Rome" right? Darn it to heck, again I digress.

    It was sheer coincidence that a staff photographer from the Review Journal (Las Vega's heathen liberal anti-Christ newspaper) happened to see me praying for Gordon before they released me later that morning. That is when he took the picture. How he managed to luck out and have it published by Newsweek is beyond me. There is no justice in Nevada. Just the luck of the draw I suppose. Truly this is the Devil's playground.

    I don't know why they insist on leaving the doors open to the hospital rooms. It really makes no sense, since the hallway doors are barred in that wing. Why could I not pray in privacy? Oh well, I am rambling.

    Oh, btw, I had laser eye surgery last June and now have perfect vision. Oh how I wish I had that option available to me back in 1984!!

    LOL, ROFLMAO, Hehehehehehe

    Gordon's Mom
     
  2. Ha! That's were my alimony check went. And you told me it was for gordy's new computer :D Now you owe me 2 payments plus interest.
    BTW you look as sweet as always, how about some little kissy-kissy boom-boom for old times shake :)
     
  3. Get a shave and we will discuss it. The inside of my thighs are still raw from last time.

    And don't give me that crap. You endorsed and cashed every one of those alimony checks. I do keep my checkbook balanced. Gordon showed me how to do it on line.

    Try depositing them in a bank instead of taking them to a check cashing store. Get it together.

    I do pray for you too you know!

    LOL! LMAO, Hehehehehehe

    GG's Mom
     
  4. The family that prays together, lays together?

    :confused: :confused:

    Peace,
    :)RS

    PS: Tonight Gordon...24 returns!
     
  5. indeed :cool:
     
  6. So Mom... what's your plans for tonight... *wink wink nudge nudge wink wink*
     
  7. I will be in my Tuesday night bible discussion group of course.

    And where will you be Gann? You PIG!!!

    LOL, ROFLMAO, Hehehehehehe

    Gordy's Mom
     
  8. Well, we're big rock singers
    We got golden fingers
    And we're loved everywhere we go..... (that sounds like us)
    We sing about beauty and we sing about truth
    At ten-thousand dollars a show..... (right)
    We take all kinds of pills that give us all kind of thrills
    But the thrill we've never known
    Is the thrill that'll gitcha when you get your picture
    On the cover of the rollin stone

    (Rollin stone.....) Wanna see my picture on the cover
    (Stone.....)Wanna buy five copies for my mother..... (yes)
    (Stone.....)Wanna see my smilin face
    On the cover of the rollin stone.... (that's a very very good idea)

    I got a freaky ole lady name a cocaine Katy
    Who embroideries on my jeans
    I got my poor ole grey haired daddy
    Drivin my limosine
    Now it's all designed to blow our minds
    But our minds won't really be blown
    Like the blow that'll gitcha when you get your picture
    On the cover of the rollin stone

    (Rollin stone.....) Wanna see our pictures on the cover
    (Stone.....) Wanna buy five copies for our mothers..... (yeah)
    (Stone.....) Wanna see my smilin face
    On the cover of the rollin stone
    (talking) Hey, I know how
    Rock and roll.....

    Ah, that's beautiful

    We got a lot of little teenage blue eyed groupies
    Who do anything we say
    We got a genuine Indian Guru
    Who's teaching us a better way
    We got all the friends that money can buy
    So we never have to be alone
    And we keep getting richer but we can't get our picture
    On the cover of the rollin stone

    (Rollin stone.....)Wanna see my picture on the cover
    (Stone.....) Wanna buy five copies for my mother..... (wa wa)
    (Stone.....) Wanna see my smilin face
    On the cover of the rollin stone
    On the cover of the rollin.......
    Stone.....) Wanna see my picture on the cover
    (talking) I don't know why we ain't on the cover, Baby....
    (Stone.....) Wanna buy five copies for my mother
    (talking) We're beautiful subjects....
    (Stone.....) Wanna see my smilin face
    (talking) I ain't kiddin, we would make a beautiful cover....
    On the cover of the rollin stone......
    (talking) fresh shot, right up front, Man.....
    I can see it now, we'll be up in the front....
    Smilin, Man......
    Ahh, beautiful.......




    :cool: