How to turn $250K into $5k...a *simple* test

In a never ending quest to constantly adapt myself to the markets as the markets see fit I am going to try and lose as much money as i can in the shortest amount of time. Being a trend follower i have been able to make some decent money, but I am constantly plagued with the "what ifs." I think of the stock market as a big checkbook that gets balanced at every filled bid and offer. So with that in mind I want to try an experiment that digs deep into my fears as a trader.

Fear 1 - Earnings Reports:
* Long or short highly volatile stocks that the media has been pumping or dumping.
* Purchase them the night before earnings and hold them into the close of the next day.
* Long or short will be determined by the opposite of majority media sentiment. i.e. if media analysts love aapl then the sentiment is positive therefore I will short it.

Fear 2 - Helicopter Ben:
* Pick the direction that is opposite the 10 day moving average and go long or short the S&P 500 using SPY.
* Purchase at the end of day before the announcement.

Fear 3 - Buying the Top:
* Long or short any stock that has gapped and closed 5% or more and has a stock price over $80.
* Purchase at the end of gapping day and hold until close of following day.
* Long or short in direction of gap.

I am going to use all of my capital and margin to get into these trades. I am going to try to stick to only one fear per day so i will have to sell the previous days position a few mins before the market closes so that i can get the new position on.

Any questions, comments or ideas are greatly appreciated.

 

Since it took me so long to come up with my trading plan my first plan of attack is as follows:

Buy to open (BTO from now on) the SPY.

reason: there is a lot of juicy material coming out tomorrow and the outlook for the economy has not been that good and furthermore the 10 day ema is pointing down

method: i will try to get in before the open and hold until a few minutes before the close where i will then transfer into my next trade which looks to be BTO Blackstone Group (BX).

 

1. write me a check for $245k.

 

nah...not the point...just do the opposite of me and you will *surly* get it.

 

BTO SPY @ 133.40

 

well the first day of my test is not going so well...

p/l@11:30 +2331.00

 

STC SPY @133.22

Moving to tomorrows trade:
BTO BX @ 15.81

BX has an earnings announcement before the open and it is quite a volatile stock so this one should prove interesting.

 

At least someone finally came up with a realistic goal for these journals.

 

I'm voting for the comedy option of becoming a multi millionaire.

 

I am trying to do a little with the whole random walk/drunkards walk and allow for Brownian motion to "do its thing". Its funny how people will disregard someone because general consensus states otherwise.