How to tell when the Market has "Bottomed"

Discussion in 'Trading' started by trader99, Jul 9, 2002.

  1. trader99


    Blind Psychic Gropes Buttocks to See Future

    Jul 9, 11:02 am ET|oddlyenough|07-09-2002::11:06|reuters.html

    By Nick Tattersall
    BERLIN (Reuters) - Forget palm-reading. A blind German psychic claimed Tuesday he could read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks.

    Clairvoyant Ulf Buck, 39, claims that people's backsides have lines like those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about their character and destiny.

    "The bottom is much more intense -- it has a much stronger power of expression than the hand in my experience," Buck told Reuters. "It goes on developing throughout your life."

    By running his fingers along a number of lines on the surface of a client's posterior, he says he can tell them about their future monetary success, family life, health and happiness.

    He says lines representing success, career and artistic ability extend inwards from the outer extremities of the buttocks, while a further five lines radiate outwards.

    "I began on a circle of friends and the circle grew," Buck said. "I am not a new-age freak. I treat people with great care and conscientiousness."

    Buck, who lives in the northern village of Meldorf, northwest of Hamburg, says all types come to him to have their bottoms read.

    He sees his blindness as a great asset, not least because it means customers do not risk having their identities revealed.

    "All sorts come, from cleaning ladies and secretaries to prominent members of the community. For them, my being blind is an advantage because I can do it without recognizing them again in the future." Buck has been blind since the age of three.

    Although he claims to have spent many years training his fingers, with his index and middle fingers the most sensitive, Buck says even amateur buttock readers can make a broad-brush assessment of people's personalities.

    "An apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life," he said. "A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth."

    He is quick to shoot down any suggestion that his buttock groping might be motivated by anything other than a genuine desire to probe people's futures.

    "I do not need to feel bottoms for my own pleasure. My wife is quite beautiful enough for me," he said.

    Buck is reluctant to speak about his successes, but says he correctly predicted an actress from a popular German soap-opera was going to write a book, and says a stockbroker has been using his services for over two years.

    "No stockbroker would keep asking a blind clairvoyant to tell them about future stock prices if they didn't believe I could to it," he said.
  2. Mike777


    so I could be sitting on a fortune and not even know it.
  3. janko


    well i guess if you cant pick em up in the bars, go psychic and cop a feel that way. Damn how come i didnt think of this. :eek:
  4. trader99


    I like to requote the part of the article that's relevent to traders on ET:

    "No stockbroker would keep asking a blind clairvoyant to tell them about future stock prices if they didn't believe I could to it," he said.

    Now, we know why Wall St brokers&analysts advice shouldn't be taken in general, because they get it from someone's butt and make an ass of themselves! LOL
  5. Bono


    Trader99, LOL

    So is it that the broker couldn't make any money and then went to that guy and made a fortune using his knowledge ? or was it that the broker was gonna make this money anyway since it's his fate, so he was gonna make it anyway with or without that future teller ? :)
  6. Babak


    janko, why stop there? I'm sure there are other parts of the body that read. :D