What makes me want to get out most of all is the fact that I have learnt roughly 80-90% of entrants to the firm dont make it. This wasnt what I was told at interview. They say this fact is irrelevant but I disagree I think it represents the 'edge' of the firm. My trades have no positive expectancy - over the last month I am down very slightly (on paper) - other trainees are down very much more than me but they make money consistently then blow alot - I am the other way round I seem to loose a little then occasionally do well. None of my money is at stake - so on that front it would make sense to continue. But this is getting off the point - I want to get out. there must be guys who have left a similar situation - I want to know what they did.
Life is one big uncertianty there chap. Better learn to deal with it or just kill yourself if you are unable to come to grips with reality and life.
You have stated a "moving away from" goal of getting out from what you are currently doing. Sometimes it is easier to know what you don't want than knowing what you DO want. I believe this is where the expression "jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire" came from. My suggestion is that you spend some time in identifying a "moving towards" goal. Write down some of the things you enjoy doing that you have a natural proclivity towards. Brainstorm with those who know you well about things they remember you doing well/enjoyed in the past. After you have a meaty list of these things to concider, take some more time to see if you can transition towards any of them. I also think it makes sense to not abandon what you are currently doing till you find out what you want to do. Taking vacation/sick time may buy you some freedom to focus on your future possibilities. I don't mean to be overly simplistic but it makes sense to me that one should make plans towards identifying something they like and want to do, then figure out how to do more of it. Peace and good luck to you. Lar
Thanks Lar - I think you are right in that I am generally unfocussed - I have plenty of talent but my motivation is highly limited - I am not pressed for time I have a couple of months at least before I will probably be fired. This is if I cannot show any profitability. I want to leave before I reach that point.
johnadams, its a numbers game..get out there a pound the pavement. If you do not do it now..you will...you just got to get desperate enough and dig deep down inside. You will be surprised at the things that you say "never" to now, end up being on the list. johnadams, I am 47 years old. I have been down to the bottom and up to the top in my life... I will not say where I am now, as this is about you...deal with it. Michael B.
Electric - I am not going to walk out with nothing to go to. I probably will be fired but not for a while yet. I am sending out resumes like crazy to find anything I can to support myself while I work out what to do - luckily there is a very tight labour market in the UK so the chances of me finding something are good. I am not at all picky and will do whatever to earn a crust for the timebeing. Being down at the bottom doesnt worry me one bit.
ok johnadams, I thought it was appropriate for straight talk. I can see you know what you are doing...(don't waste too much time being unhappy, get on with it ) All the best... Michael B.
Cheers electric - I have worked at the bottom before - in bars, shops etc.... It really isnt that bad - most of the bad things associated with those sorts of jobs are because of the way people in those sorts of jobs live - gambling drinking and the people they surround themselves with. Once you realize that - it neednt be so bad. I really want to know what former prop traders are doing now and how they managed to get out.
John, what is the timeframe for your prop trades? Almost 2 years ago I tried swifttrade here in Canada, and they were pushing traders to do about 200 trades in a day. Now I do EOD trading with a backtested system and I have maybe 100 trades a year. Blows away by several orders of magnitude what I could ever try to make at Swift, because I wasnt profitable. Mind you I did leave after the first week when the management issues outweighed any benefit I'd get in staying around pretending to learn how to trade. Basically, what I'm getting at is maybe your getting a raw deal chasing the microbucks in short term prop trading. There is an alternative.
johnadams, I was a CTA for a very short period of time..like 8 months..I hated it. I resigned by sending an email to Japan, I gave several months notice, and when they had a replacement, I could get out with a clean break... But the diff is, I love to trade. I trade my own money. I think you are the kind of person that needs to understand why the market does what it does. There are times that these things are unexplainable, which frustrates you.. Michael B.