How to be a Guru in 10 easy Steps

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by TheBestGuruEver, Aug 23, 2009.

  1. 1. Explain how making 20 ES points a day is really easy, using past charts and showing where you would have bought and sold.

    2. Tell everyone that everyone else likely blew up trading because they are dumb, and not following your method

    3. Explain how trading is hard, yet easy, and will let you live the life you wanted.

    4. Tell them you spent 10,000 hours looking at charts, and that must be worth something.

    5. Tell them you don't like systems, yet your simple way of trading is like a system and can be used to trade anything on any time frame.

    6. Give them guarantees on your performance, but make it very hard to really understand so you win no matter what.

    7. Tell them you have traded everything and have tons of money, but really only teach because you like people.

    8. Make them think your special cost will run out very soon and you will never offer this crap every again.

    9. Tell them you will teach them stuff nobody has every taught them, and it will be 10 hours of some of the best stuff they ever seen -- totally new!!

    10. Most important: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER show them an audited Profit and Loss statement for the last year or more. Tell them how un-important making money really is, since they won't have the exact losses, errr..i mean wins... as you. Make it seem like you don't really need the money, but keep begging... err..asking.. for their money. Then use their money to open up a trading account.



    If you think some clown on the internet can teach you how to trade, you might as well send me 10,000 immediately.

    There is a reason prop traders from Goldman don't sit around and market their skills.

  2. WOW!

    You just nailed ProfLogic to a TEE!!! :eek: :p
  3. [​IMG]Internet Gurus [​IMG]

  4. Hey, that's my line.[​IMG]
  5. LMAO! :D
  6. Cheese


    All the points you made are a statement of the obvious although you put them in an amusing way. LOL.

    The systems promoted on ET (whether or not previously sold or currently being sold) are of course unproven as to any verified accounting and the proponent usally can't successfully call his system live to any known or consistent standard, if at all.

    Because there are gullible people who believe they are missing out on what others enjoy, they will always be fodder for these guru scam artists who prey on the gullible. You have to add to all of this that most of the many that avoid gurus still battle, usually unsuccessfully, to become fluent winners lastingly or to make themselves rich.

    Here at ET failure is because the many cannot see what they need to do. They cannot see where the money is. They cannot, or do not want to, set their compass in the direction needed or use the liquid markets available, to begin and to develop daily accumulating profits.
  7. Here are some more "GURUISMS"

    11. Tell them trading is like being a professional athlete or pilot, when in fact the guru is more like a used car salesman selling lemons. What if the guru said, 'you are now a gambler'. haha. Try to make them feel important.

    12. Show them a loss, but then immediately say it was only 1% of your capital and you took a trade over-night that easily covered that loss.

    13. Tell them you will quit doing education, followed by your "last" seminar for only $1995.

    14. Always say "Well, the market could breakout higher or fail"... so then you are always right.

    15. Remember to ramble about risk management and how you cut your losses quick, but try not to show them your 40 point ES loss or your 109 3-point losses in a row.

    16. When everyone fails because you are teaching them crap, tell them it's really the markets' fault for being boring and one good day a few years from now will let them make it all back.

  8. Sounds like #11! :D
  9. lexcorp



    Remember, tell them to look at moving averages, fibs, pivots, macd, stochs, support/resistance, volume, etc....

    Then you will be RIGHT every day, because one of these has to work on a given day.

    If not, for some crazy reason, tell your clients another way to look at the indicator.

    If someone dares asks when you covered the long you took on the day's high....tell them you bought puts, sold another stock for way more size, etc...

    and then you will remain the GURU!!!!
    #10     Aug 24, 2009