How Much Pain Before Gain?

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by Rande Howell, Jan 28, 2011.

  1. A Time for Self Reflection:

    Why do so many traders stay stuck in painful self limiting patterns rooted in fear and self doubt? It's not like your trading account will allow you to live in comfortable denial for long. Hold this question in your mind. The trader can see that what they are currently doing is not working. They acknowledge they need to do something about their fear-based trading - "they talk the talk" - but they, for some reason, can not push themselves into "walking the walk" of actually doing something about the power fear has over their trading. What's at work here?

    I asked a very successful trader and teacher this question, and his reply was:

    "Because the trader has not suffered enough pain." What!? I asked him to go on. "It takes tremendous pain for a trader to seek help and decide to change his ways. It was the same way for me. I'd been trading for 7 years before I finally cried out "UNCLE "- I've had enough and sought help for the psychology I was bringing to the trading room - I had blown out several large trading accounts, had declared personal bankruptcy, and was staring at my family starting to fall apart. That is what did it for me."

    "Until then, I had way too much pride to admit that I was the problem - not something outside of me. It just wasn't me I was destroying - it was my family. That was rock bottom for me. I couldn't allow that - the pain was just too great. Finally, I knew I had to do something. Avoiding my pain wasn't worth it anymore. It was just a short term fix anyway. The fear kept coming back. In getting beneath the hood of my mind, I found the courage, plus the skills and tools, to face what I had spent my entire life avoiding. I know now that my fear of not measuring up created a bigger than life personna that tried to protect me from feeling my wrong-headed sense of unworthiness. "

    "What's crazy is why it took me so long. I was really invested in "looking good". I much prefer who I am now than the trader I used to be. Losing is not longer a statement about me anymore. Anyone who trades professionally trains themselves to emotionally think in terms of having an edge in probabilies as they approach the uncertainty of a trade. Over time they are going to have more winners than losers and the winners will be much bigger than the losers. Calm, detached, confident, and humble. Losing or winning is no longer emotionaly charged. Confronting my fears allowed me to separate fear from uncertainty. This psychological freedom is what has allowed me to develop the trader I am today. But I had to experience pain beyond my threshold before I was willing to push through my denial and face the demons roaring like a hungry lion in my mind. Once did that, I wondered why it took me so long to do something so simple."

    What can you learn from this trader's journey into financial success and personal growth? What I want you to notice about this trader's story is how long he stayed in the denial that continued his march into pain. I also want you to notice the enormous pain he shouldered. What was the cost of his not acting to master his fear? Hundreds of thousands of dollars for sure. But you, as a trader, know the cost of not confronting and mastering your fear is much greater that dollars alone. It is the loss of your potential as a human being that is really robbed. The tragic part is that it is not the market that robs you. It is nothing outside of you. It is your fear that robs you of the potential that trading offers. This is what keeps the unsuccessful trader locked in the comfort zone of his self limiting beliefs.

    How do you or how have you broken out of this biologically-wired spell fear has entranced you? Where are you at in the evolution of the trader in you?

    Rande Howell
  2. Redneck


    Because the trader has not suffered enough pain

  3. jinxu


    I have broken free. I understand on a deep and intuitive level the psychological process on how to break free. I can even develop a step-by-step course based around developing this mental edge if I wished to.
  4. Redneck
    Good for you! What did you learn?
    Rande Howell
  5. jinxu

    What have you learned?

    Rande Howell
  6. jinxu


    That similar to how cult brainwash people into believing their bull$hit, you can brainwash yourself into becoming more confidence. The process is similar. The motive is just different. One is negative while the other is positive reinforcement. What it takes is knowing how to do it and doing it.
  7. Redneck


    That I am a simple minded, dumb ass, redneck

    Within me lies vast amounts of ego and stubbornness – and will continue to do so until I die….

    Death is a certainty…. Trading is the antithesis

    In the beginning trading was all about me…. In reality trading has absolutely nothing to do with me – I simply do not matter

    Regards Sir