If you can't afford a doctor, go to the airport and get a free x-ray and breast exam. If you mention Al Qaeda, a free colonoscopy too.
LOL, as an added bonus if they manage to find anything, they will give you free swimming lessons (waterboarding) in Guantanamo.
Maybe we should do a "Ben Franklin".... 2 columns... "Promises Kept" on one side, "Promises Broken" on the other.
The TSA is just doing it wrong. If they would hire a bunch of hooters waitresses and let them do the pat downs on the guys, people like me would fly a lot more with no complaints. In fact, I would probably always carry a fingernail clipper or disposable lighter in my pocket.
My buddy and I were just joking about this very idea yesterday. Hell I'd go through the line several times if they'd let me.
Who's joking? I would even pay the TSA big bucks if they could get Angelina Jolie to pat me down. (private booth, of course)