Ok, so basically i want to write exactly what is going through my head, (my life story) and see if anyone has ever experienced something similar and see how to get over the hurdle. I started trading when i was 21, as a side job to going to university. I always wanted to learn about the markets, and when the opportunity arose to become a day trader i jumped all over it. I basically knew going in that the hypothetical income the trading company i started with was bullshit as i started out prop and no one inside my firm was making money. Anyways i made, what i now deem to be a poor decision, however let me tell you how it all began. Basically i started out and six months in i was already better than every trader within our "branch" inside the firm. There were other traders making huge money at other "branches," and that was always what i aspired to be. To make a long story short i was making roughly 10k a month after the first 6 months then after a year i hit pay dirt, i figured out a strategy i could make 100k a month at (only 50% was mine.) Well i managed to make about 200k, take home, over the next few months. Then my strategy failed in a big way. Not only did my day trading strategy fail but i also fucked away all of the rewards from the previous few months in a personal trading account, way over leveraged. The next few years i dealt with tax problems as the IRS wanted a piece of that 200k, and i had fucked it all away(in my trading account), so the next few years was spent catching up. Anyways, most recently i finally found a strategy, which i have kept meticulous records on, that appears to be maximized and extremely consistent Now my problem is that i am having trouble pulling the trigger, even though 2 years of stats all line up to this being right and being worth alot of money if it works, i have some kind of fear that somehow my record keeping is going to go sour and this will just fuck up like the last one when it failed. I have habit of just getting rid of all my positions the second i get up 1-2k as opposed to letting it work itself out as the system requires. Basically on my "PROFITABLE" days i always cut my profit short out of fear that i will give it back. Yet i have no fear of letting my large "losing" days run against me. I always seem to have some ingrained fear that whatever "strategy" i am doing is in the process of collapsing so i may as well take profit now, and even when statistical analysis lines up the second i have one or two bad days i am panick stricken that the current system is failing me. Now i know the basic solution will be "cut back size so it doesnt matter" but the problem is i need the current size to pay the bills, and cutting short at that exact moment keeps me alive (even though statistics say i should hold onto the size and let it work itself out), and paying the bills. So now my question is, "how do i dive into this?" Knowing it is a fully functional system, and if i was to let it ride i would be much better off. Clearly i am trading this system completely dysfunctionally, as the only real thing i need to do is "hold onto winners," for some reason i cannot bring myself to do it, i have my 5k a month goal in mind, and need it to survive but cant jump the hurdle. I seem to have a permanent fear of systems failing me. (As this was how the first one worked out, and when it failed it ended up failing big time.) Any help???? Thx!!