Handling Skepticism from Loved Ones

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by learninglisted, Aug 29, 2003.

  1. I think the original poster of this thread was concerned because it was a person he really admired and had a good realtionship with. You can't not be affected by someone close to you not "approving" of what you do.
     
    #11     Aug 29, 2003
  2. Tea

    Tea

    Give it a time limit & dollar limit.

    Tell him & her if you are not successful in X amount of time or if you lose X amount of money you will do something else.

    Ask them for their unquestioned support during this period.
     
    #12     Aug 29, 2003
  3. ramora

    ramora

    Try and 'cut a deal' with your Father-in-Law. Is there someway that would allow you to trade part-time get some more experience and some hard dollar success to show the FIL?

    If you succeed without your FIL's support he may not acknowledge your success regardless of how great it is.

    There is so much flexibility in trading, it is a big world. Trade European markets in the early morning, trade the EURO during the Japanese trading hours late at night, SWING trade using end-of-day data.

    Sometimes it is easy to get trapped into a binary "Do A OR B", instead try and change the situtation to "Do A AND B". More difficult, but possible. Do you really care what you trade as long as you are trading and making money? Probably not...

    Your FIL wants you to succeed, you said you respect him... Cut a deal, bring everyone along on the trip if you can.

    Good Trading!

    ramora
     
    #13     Aug 29, 2003
  4. An ancient Chinese saying which applies:

    Before a man is considered brilliant, he must look foolish to the crowd.
     
    #14     Aug 29, 2003
  5. On average your father-in-law will prove to be correct... but don't let the statistics prevent you from living your dream...
     
    #15     Aug 29, 2003
  6. You should be glad that it is only your father in law. I received that doubt from my wife. It drove a pretty big wedge between us. Then I was bound and determined to make it work, with her, or without her.

    I'm a pretty conservative person, and I don't do things without a plan. Life is what you make of it, and what you strive to succeed at.

    My "regular" job was working for a family business, and I saw daily how "insecure" the secure job really was.

    For me, trading is a passion. I can't wait to ge to it, and do it well. It's like it's a part of me, something in my blood. Much more than any other job I've ever tried.

    So I take the risks, and strive for the rewards, and I do it because it's what I love to do.
     
    #16     Aug 29, 2003
  7. The one thing about these secured jobs which has kept me up at night is that your boss could wake up and decide the bottom line could use your salary instead of you.
     
    #17     Aug 29, 2003
  8. Momento

    Momento


    This should be the best way, but make sure X amount of time is long enough :D
     
    #18     Aug 29, 2003
  9. gms

    gms

    As a dad myself, I can understand your father-in-law's concern. Also as a dad, I can understand how he views you, though you're rapidly approaching middle age (!), as a "kid". And as a younger generation to him, he feels he has the wisdom and smarts achieved by living through more than you have, and he wants to share that. So, alright.

    You only need be practical in your discussion with him. And there need be only one discussion, and he should be the one that starts it.

    To show him you are practical and objective about your endeavor, don't use jokes to tell him what you plan on doing if your plans go bust. That would fall as nonsense to his ears because he's having a serious conversation with you, and if you show an irreverent tone, he's going to get the idea you have no plan or are trying your hand at trading as a lark.

    Give him the sense that you've done the research and have the ability and understand the risks involved. Give names and details instead of a vague acknowledgement of your studies, and he'll get the impression that you've done your homework. But don't overwhelm him with details.

    Also, as others have suggested, tell him seriously about your backup plan, how it is you'll be sending out your resume if in 6 months you don't show signs of being able to make a living. That will show him you're not banking it all on #7, so to speak. Whatever timeframe you give him should be very reasonable for you to accomplish the task, otherwise he'll be back having been proven right. Guarantee him that, for that period of time, you do have sufficient reserves to pay the bills and then some. But don't lie or exaggerate about any of these above matters.

    Be sure to thank him courteously for his concern and for bringing the topic up. A mention that a couple of things he said make certainly for thoughts you want to consider (there should be a few) will make him feel he's gotten through.

    If that doesn't the settle the matter for a while, you owe me nothing!

    Just be sure to make a go of it.
     
    #19     Aug 29, 2003
  10. The more I here from people that a person can't make a living in this "risky gambling trading stuff", the more I get excited that I have a way out of the trap of working for others. When you work for someone else, you spend every working moment of your life building up their dreams. It is the moment when you start working for your dreams, that you start to feel the tingles of FREEDOM electrify your existence. What an amazing journey one travels as they determine their own destiny on a daily basis, freed from the herd of the dependant! Yes..... I love it when people tell me trading does not work! :D
     
    #20     Aug 29, 2003