Again, you have a lot to learn about the rest of the world my friend. Starting with the fact that "California" is a huge state and the cost of living in San Francisco vs just 80 miles away in Stockton are night and day, let alone whatever "area" your fiance is from. In fact $160K in SF is equivalent to about $40K in New Orleans and $60K in Atlanta, as has clearly been spelled out on this thread. Highly recommend you take that fiance on trip to SF and spend a few weeks there, it's eye opening for sure.
I am weeping. It is choices. 160k may not go far in SF, but there are a lot of other nice "sheltered burbs" in a 50 mile range where rent will plunge . But you join the hundreds of thousands of others who silently put up with the commute in the bay area. Choices Choices
California is a big state. NY is a big state. However, if you job is located in a high cost area, let's say midtown Manhattan, your choices are pretty limited and the definition of "comfortable" is relative. I don't know about the guy in subject, but I can take my example since my base is very similar. For starters, out of my 150k base I get to keep about 7.5k a month after taxes (federal plus state plus city, my marginal tax rate is over 50% actually). I work long hours and my job requires concentration, so I can't afford a lengthy commute that would cut into work or into sleep. So I bought an apartment in Manhattan. I bought my place cheap in 2008, but these days, a reasonable 1-bedroom costs a buck, a two-bedroom from 1.5. My HOA charges are 1.5k a month, my real estate taxes are 11k a year. That's actually not that bad, as these things go. Renting a place like that would be five grand a month, plus you have to pay a real estate agent to rent the place (two monthly rents is a standard fee) and constantly run the risk of having them hike the rent in your face. My parking spot is 500/month. Once you own, you are local, so you end up paying crazy mark-up for everything, because the supermarkets are paying crazy for real estate. Eggs at a supermarket? From $5 a dozen unless there is a sale. Wanna get lunch while at work in mid-town? From $12, but most probably $15 and we not even talking anything good. There is also "perceived wealth" - everyone thinks that since I am living here I must be loaded to the gills. Every service I might need - plumbers, contractors etc they all think "well, this guy can afford it". I had a plumber who wanted to charge me 500 dollars to open a stuck valve on my patio. I am not saying that I am poor, but I certainly don't feel rich given my lifestyle. This is despite the fact that my base salary would be considered great income in many parts of the country.
Sadly mass transit sucks and the Peninsula where you can take Caltrain is more expensive than the City. You gotta make it to Pittsburgh/Antioch to see any dip in prices combined with a place you actually want to live (i.e. not Oakland/Hayward) and then you've got a tunnel and a bridge to fight with every day. I loved living there but I would need to make at least 4X to have the same standard of living I have now on the East Coast.
That is nonsense. Those are all choices. I know people who work at Bloomberg at Lexington Avenue (people who earn around 160k or so a year), people who work for several investment banks and they all live in Jersey and take the Northeast Corridor line into Penn Station. They all look and appear to do pretty OK and they all have kids. One does not HAVE TO live in Manhattan and one does especially not need a car in Manhattan (though in Jersey you would I guess). Education in Jersey is top notch, many top schools to choose from. Of course it is easy to squander 160k on anything really but one can with right choices get by quite well with such sum.
Right, but to be able to go to top schools you have to be living in the right spot, where property is expensive and real estate taxes are, hmm, meaningful. Nobody is saying that it's poverty, but it's not riches either.
Fully agree. I don't spare expenses when it comes to work related items but I am almost a cheapo in private life. It all comes down to having a budget and not exceeding it. That means sacrifices and arrangements in some areas, but enjoyment in others. For example, annual fishing trips to New Zealand are a must for me and education for kids I rank very high. But I could not care less what car I would drive. In fact I don't even currently own one as I live in a city with super efficient public transportation and very cheap taxis. But then I consider myself at times almost clinically cheap to the degree that I enjoy seeing me spend just a low single digit percentage on expenses each month while the rest goes to savings in order to be budgeted for future investments.
Yes and he as every other human being can commute to work via a 30 or 40 minute drive and NOT be priced out of the housing market. Attitudes man, attitudes to life is what it comes down to.