Hey guys! I'm feeling good this morning. My commute wasn't all that bad and after yesterday, I feel more determined to succeed today. My recruit is doing quite well. I think that there's a lot of upside for him. I know him to be very perceptive and in this industry that is definetly a virtue. I don't think I'll be very aggressive today because of the fed meeting, but I won't let an opportunity pass by. Good Trading!
I'm home. I left immediately after the market close because I was afraid of what I would have done to the phyiscal objects near me. Today, was the worst day I've had yet. I've heard it before, "you'll make it back." "Just ignore the loss and move on to the next day," is what people have told me. But today, those words mean nothing. Because I haven't felt this angry in many years. I guess I'm angry at myself for letting a trade get away from me. But what I am truly angry at is that I have proven to myself that I am completely undisciplined. I shouldn't be trading. I should be working at some fucking desk job, with a boss, paperwork, deadlines, 15 hour days, and some pitiful salary that would simply remind me of how worthless I can be. I can almost picture it,.......some small sidewalk company where I'm my boss's little bitch running errands like getting him/her a cup of coffee. "Manny, I need those reports by lunch. Oh, and get in touch with maintainence. I want you to tell them to raise the temperature by one degree." I must say that my career in trading has truly tested my limits. I have done many things that were torturous for the Army but nothing compares to the mental anguish that I go through on a daily basis when I trade. Will I push on or will I give up? That's one hell of a question. But how can I give up the one thing in my life that I have truly, truly loved? Perhaps I need to collect myself and revalutate the pros and cons of this life. But if I quit, then I'll never win. I'll never have my dream.........I can't let happen.......or can I? I lost $415 and spent ABOUT $160 losing it. Pathetic..... I had 29 buy executions, 19 sell executions, and 180,800 shares traded. How will I play my hand tomorrow?
Shouldn't be laughing so loud!! But thanks for the laugh. Been there and done that so many times, that it really is not funny. (Not the job, but the thoughts.) What seems to work for me is a few days off and then back to the plan. Build it back up and do it again, and again, and again.......Not a suggestion - but the idea that we can and do move on. Make 'em pretty, Chris
Since your journal is read and enjoyed by many, maybe your real talent is in being an author/writer....Like maybe along the Dean Koontz line.....For example, you could title your first book: "Life Of A Trader, Worse Than Torture At Guantanamo Bay" by: GoodPunk6 Anyway: "Chin Up" Good Punk
One of the things about trading that is different from a lot of other undertakings is that the losses feel a lot worse than the wins feel good. So even if you win more than half the time the emotional toll to the negative side is much greater. Most people cannot handle it. It takes a lot of getting used to. Eventually the losses wont be any big deal, if you survive long enough.
Here is my advice.. for what its worth.... The odds are against u making any money and more than likely u will churn yourself out.. simply because u are churning way too much and spending a lot in commisions. If you still wanna daytrade then u need to trade the high priced stocks and trade much less size.. but obviously your boss wont let because he wont get his $500-700 a week that u generate for him in commisions. Get a normal job and swing trade on the side. That is the best of both worlds. Dont feel bad because when u get more experience and understand what trading is all about.. u will realize that daytrading 1-2k shares of NT is no edge... and your boss was making easy $ from the dozens of suckers that walk in and out of prop shops. --MIKE
You need to re-evaluate your trading style, the easy and big money is to be made in swingtrading, not in tickfucking all day long.
Well, I meant easy in the sense that when you swing trade you don't have to go through the emotional torture of watching every up-or downtick effect your account. I have found the less time I spend before the screen the better I do, and it's a lot more fun too.