George Bush's Resume

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by richtrader, Oct 28, 2003.

  1. Apparently, GW created a resume already in case he doesn't get re-elected:

    George W. Bush
    The White House, USA

    Past Work Experience

    I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
    I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
    I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; the company went
    bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
    I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land
    using taxpayer money.
    With my father's help and name, I was elected Governor of Texas.

    Accomplishments as Governor
    I changed pollution laws in favor of the power and oil companies and made Texas
    the most polluted state in the Union.
    I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America.
    I cut taxes and bankrupted Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed
    money.
    I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American history.
    I became U.S. President after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes
    with the help of major Enron money and my father's appointments to the Supreme
    Court.

    Accomplishments as President
    I attacked and overtook two countries.
    I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
    I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
    I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month
    period.
    I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock
    market.
    My record for environmental issues is the least of my concerns.
    I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
    record.
    I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year period.
    After taking off the entire month of August, I then presided over the worst
    security failure in U.S. history.
    I am supporting development of a "Tactical Bunker Buster" nuke, a WMD.

    I am getting our troops killed, under the lie of Sadam's procurement of Yellow
    Cake Nuke WMD components, then blaming the lie on our British friends.
    I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. president.
    In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and that
    trend continues every month.
    I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
    I set the record for least amount of press conferences than any president since
    the advent of television.
    I signed more laws and executive orders effectively amending or ignoring the
    Constitution than any president in history.
    I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
    intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
    I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use
    national reserves as past presidents have done.
    I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
    benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.
    I've dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.
    I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S.
    history.
    I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration
    in U.S. history.
    I am the first president in U.S. history to have almost all 50 states of the
    Union simultaneously suffer massive financial crisis.
    I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any
    country in history.
    I am the first president in U.S. history to order a preemptive attack and the
    military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the
    United Nations and the world community.
    I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the
    United States.
    I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more
    than any president in
    history.
    I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the
    U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
    I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the
    U.S. from the Elections Monitoring Board.
    I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional
    oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.
    I rendered the entire United Nations viewpoints irrelevant.
    I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
    I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" (detainees) and
    thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
    I am the first president in history to refuse United Nations election
    inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
    I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate
    campaign donations.
    My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, (Kenneth
    Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation) presided over the largest corporate
    bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history.
    My political party used the Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
    assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
    I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks
    and less than a year later made the U.S. the most resented country in the
    world, possibly the largest failure of diplomacy in World history.
    I am the first president in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view
    my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
    I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government
    contracts.
    I set an all-time record for the number of administration appointees who
    violated U.S. law by not selling their huge personal investments in
    corporations bidding for U.S. contracts.
    I failed to fulfill my pledge to capture Osama Bin Laden, dead or alive.
    I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our
    country at the U.S. Capitol Building. Even after 18 months I have no leads and
    no credible suspects.
    In the past 18 months following the World Trade Center attack I have
    successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security
    failure in the history of the United States.
    I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any president in
    U.S. history.
    In a little over two years, I created the most divided country in decades,
    possibly the most divided since the Civil War.
    I entered my office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and have turned
    every single economic category downward -- all in less than two years.

    Records and References:
    I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine.
    My Texas driving record has been erased and is not available.
    I was AWOL from the National Guard.
    I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
    All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's library,
    sealed, and unavailable for public view.
    All records of SEC investigations into insider trading or bankrupt companies
    are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
    All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended
    regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
    review.
     
  2. Magna

    Magna Administrator

    Wow. Guess he doesn't take the Harry Truman approach of "The Buck Stops Here" (or maybe he does if you make a pun out of those words).
     
  3. maxpi

    maxpi

    I like GW, a guy like that couldn't be all bad.

    :D
     
  4. Yeah, but he's against gays, immigrants and for the right to carry a weapon as well as the holy bible in school. That's what matters in the south.

    YIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
     
  5. For the record, his oil company was called "Armbusto" which means "bush" en espanol!

    I happen to be from Midland, TX and knew the Bushes way back when! Nice people really........

    :)
     
  6. Bush's resume sure looks better than your rap sheet.

    He's got a place at my co.