Listen, the order flow is not targeting you specifically. That being said, if this is your mindset, you should stop trading real money and go back to demo. You clearly aren't mentally prepared for real money yet.
I think you are just trading bad or unlucky or likely just trading the same as most new traders. Big money isn't going after your 1 lot but I bet they have a pretty good idea where the collective retail contracts and pain points are. Also beware of limit moves in the grains.