Funny? What do you think?

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by trader556, Nov 29, 2003.

  1. Patriot Act III coming you way

    : Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
    : May I have your..."
    :
    : Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."
    :
    : Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
    :
    : Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,
    : it's 6102049998-45-54610."
    :
    : Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742
    : Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office
    : number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's
    : 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"
    :
    : Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
    :
    : Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
    :
    : Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
    : All-Meat Special pizzas..."
    :
    : Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
    :
    : Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
    :
    : Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've
    : got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.
    : Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an
    : unhealthy choice."
    :
    : Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"
    :
    : Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza.
    : I'm sure you'll like it"
    :
    : Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
    :
    : Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from
    : your local library last week, sir. That's why I made
    : the suggestion."
    :
    : Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones,
    : then. What's the damage?"
    :
    : Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your
    : four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes
    : $49.99."
    :
    : Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
    :
    : Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you 'll have to pay in
    : cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."
    :
    : Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before
    : your driver gets here."
    :
    : Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
    : overdrawn."
    :
    : Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash
    : ready. How long will it take?"
    :
    : Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
    : minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up
    : while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a
    : motorcycle can be a little awkward."
    :
    : Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
    :
    : Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments,
    : so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just
    : assumed that you'd be using it."
    :
    : Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"
    :
    : Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've
    : already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
    :
    : Customer: (Speechless)
    :
    : Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
    :
    : Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free
    : liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."
    :
    : Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause
    : prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."
     
  2. not in the least. nor is it clever, witty or even mildly amusing. :-/
     
  3. MarkB

    MarkB

    It's scary, actually.
     
  4. yes, i'm cowering in corner