Funny stuff!

Discussion in 'Stocks' started by pumpanddumper, Oct 3, 2007.

  1. You guys here will appreciate this:

    This is by far one of the best things I've ever read

    This is an unbelievable listing on Craig's list from this ridiculous girl. Also, the hilarious response from a guy who fits her "criteria".


    What am I doing wrong?

    Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
    (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
    I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
    least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
    that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
    I'm overreaching at all.

    Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
    you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
    200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
    me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
    to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
    I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
    get to her level?

    Here are my questions specifically:

    - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
    restaurants, gyms

    -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my

    -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

    - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
    side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
    nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
    gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story

    - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
    banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
    hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

    - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for

    Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
    way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
    about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
    able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
    nice home and hearth.

    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
    PostingID: 432279810

    Dear Pers-431649184:

    I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
    about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
    Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
    bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
    see it.

    Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
    crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
    suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
    my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
    money will likely continue into fact, it is very likely
    that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
    be getting any more beautiful!

    So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
    asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
    accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
    hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
    earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

    So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
    and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
    to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
    you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
    to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
    as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

    Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
    I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
    as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
    believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
    hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

    By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
    we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

    With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
    Classic "pump and dump."
    I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
    lease, let me know.

    Jessica Viana

    424 West 33rd Street, Suite 520
    New York, NY 10001
    P: 212-560-8990
    F: 212-560-8991
  2. Absolutely hysterical.

    The response is great. But the funniest part is how absurd this girl is. Million a year is middle class in NYC? Which NYC is she talking about, the one in her dreams?

    LOL, the best is how she thinks she is not superficial just because she is upfront about being a golddigger. Like any of them hide it.
  3. Did anyone realize the response was from a Girl!
    That's HOT I'm sorry still gets to me.

    I applaud this girl she's right the girls uptown married are a bunch of dogs all the cute chicks are downtown with the husbands of the uptown girls. if you all really knew what was going on beneath 14th st you would be disgusted.

    Also asking for $500 G instead of a million That took class. Why do the hottest girls usually not get the dates? well men are afraid to approach them of course and they don't marry them because the girls move on once they get 50% that's why they MARRY the ugly girls and bang on the side the pretty ones.

    So this girl has two obvious choices. Get facial surgery muck up her lips and eyes and stumble uptown for married life or stay hot and get a job and make out with girls. i think that's the better way. ~ stoney
  4. JimBob56


    Happy hunting single men. Time to by the wife some flowers.
  5. The sad thing is this is how most of society operates... it's like the guy says hey I'll give you half of my money if you'll hang out with me... haha
  6. this is hilarious, i dont understand the response, is jessica the author of the post or the replier?
  7. I think of any demographic, single women in their mid-20's (at least in urban America) are the most hopelessly shallow breed alive. If you gave such a woman the power of God for 24 hours, she would just make herself thinner, and not even think that there was anything else to do. Or ok, maybe she would then make other women fatter.

    I've met these girls before...they are so confused and mystified that they can't land the big money. They might have cookie-cutter good looks, but be completely incapable from an intellectual point of view. Every conversation revolves around how people look, or the appearance of things. That's all they think about.

    I don't believe that all rich guys marry bland women. Some might actually find a woman that is both good looking and not a textbook narcissist. I couldn't imagine having the life-outlook of these women, where the only point in living is to marry rich. That's such a cop-out, it's taking such a subordinate role. Why is it that a man who took such an outlook would be considered lazy, whereas a women who marries a rich man and then does absolutely nothing else is considered a raging success story? Women can't have it both ways in society. How can such women consider themselves deserving of equal rights to a man, but also be completely dependant on them?