Q: Whatâs another name for a long-term investment? A: A failed short-term investment! A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything was last year. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. Q: Why did God create stock analysts? A: In order to make weather forecasters look good. Q: Where should I invest my money? A: Put it on booze. Where else can you get forty percent? Q: Who was the world's first stock broker? A: Noah â He floated his stock while the world was in liquidation. An investor to his advisor: "Is all my money gone?" "No, of course not. It's just with somebody else!"