what do i do? (for social)? talk with neighbors. go out with family or wife (with sitter @home) coach kids' sports teams. get together with friends in the same town. get together with friends in the 'city'. play basketball with friends. that's off the top of my head. you'll have to make an effort to see people, since the forced interaction at the office won't happen. but your kids will provide a central social point for you and others in your town. edit: justrading - nothing wrong with that if you like it. that's the most important part; what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for the next.
yes, i am an introvert and rarely talk to people. trading is a way to avoid talking to people. however i have found it's not healthy if you don't talk to anybody at least every day. you can quickly lose motivation. luckily I am still in a parttime day job so I have ample opportunity to talk to people. you trade, to live, not live, to trade.
Trading provides purpose in my life, but I don't live to trade. If there is a live rugby telecast (every Friday now), that takes priority over trading. If there is a great movie on the telly, that takes priority over trading. And as happened this week, if someone I haven't seen for 18 years comes to town, that takes priority over trading. I am certain of one thing; when I am dying, I won't be wishing I had spent more time trading so I live my life accordingly.
Thank you. My last job, which lasted 12 years, is one I can honestly say I enjoyed. The best part of it was working with people from all over the world. One of the most beautiful aspects of humanity is our diversity.
Here are a few thoughts: 1. Are you getting laid regularly? If not, that might be your biggest problem. 2. I think you guys vastly over rate the sensitivity of your strategy to "not working" by discussing it. Regardless, conversation, even with other traders, never really needs to go to specifics. Most real traders, will not pry and honestly will not really care what you are up to. They have their own tricks. 3. If you live in any of the major cities, or near a city, there are plenty of traders. And don't think u need to talk about trading the whole time. Just drink and talk about whatever - no need to be one dimensional. Go play tennis, chill at a beach, meet women, talk politics or philosophy, etc. 4. Look for ways to set up a customer business and do it. 5. Add some value to the world. When you do this it tends to come back to you + a return.
Re 1, if the object of the exercise is to get laid, that's as easy as eating breakfast. Re 2, thank you. Reading about all these people who have the EDGE they can't talk about, I'm developing an inferiority complex. I don't have one, I simply look at price action and if my indicators tell me there is likely to be substance in the move, I take the trade. I make money by trade management. Re 3, most of my friends are not traders. That is actually the best part of it. Re 5, Amen brother!
I've been trading full-time more than 5 years. Yet, what you said has some contradictions or doesn't make sense. For example, you said "no interaction with colleagues" and yet you're posting here at a forum designed for traders. You wonder about becoming "anti-social" but you have a spouse and kids. Do you not know your kids friends parents, do you not know your spouse friends, do you not do family activities outside of your home, have you not joined local clubs of interest (e.g. biking, walking, sports, hobby, occupation profession). You aware that most trader forums (including Elitetrader.com) have a section dedicated to traders posting "meet-ups" for their home city or nearby cities ??? My point, if you're a "lonely trader" its because of your choice or a mental condition (e.g. depression) to be such and not because of the profession of trading especially with today's technology and social media.
I can very much identify with this reply. What I miss about the work relationships is the fact that in a regular job you have people who understand exactly what you are doing (usually, not the spouse or regular friends outside of work) and with whom you can share your ups and downs. You go through these together with others. The other aspect is that I miss a sense of accomplishment I have experienced when I was managing projects for my former employer. I love to work in general and I love to achieve goals. In trading there is not a goal similar to what I have experienced in my previous work environment. Trading is more of a process which you have to apply constantly, week after week after week... Of course, the final goal might be to have x million bucks in your account, but that is not what I'm talking about. Trading is just a way to generate or complement your income. That's it. Don't get me wrong, I love trading and I love looking at charts and trying to understand price action. But I miss the aforementioned characteristics of the more regular jobs I had before. Luckily for me, I am now swing trading, i.e. I do not have to sit in front of the computer non-stop all the time. I just have to check the charts a few times per day. Due to this I am thinking about starting to work again and continuing with trading in parallel. Regarding the secret sauce, I do not think there is one, actually. But I fully understand that one feels uncomfortable talking about the details of their strategy. But that is more a psychological hurdle within the trader itself. Most traders have worked hard to get where they are. So, it makes sense that it does not feel right to give "that" away. Whatever "that" is... Regarding talking to other traders about trading, I once had the desire to meet other traders, but the more I have developed my own approach I feel like I'm not interested to meet other traders who have different beliefs and, hence, different approaches about trading. What do you want to talk about with such people? You do not have the same basis. I do not want to learn about their approach, as I have my own and I believe 100% in my own approach. I'm not interested in distractions from my trading. I'm wondering how others feel about the last point. I'd rather start new hobbies (which I did recently) and meet new people there. There, I still have a lot to figure out and it's very exciting to talk to others who are at my stage of development (beginner) and with whom I can discuss our progress or who are already more experienced and can give me advice. I enjoy meeting these people in this new field.
I would welcome the opportunity to sit down and exchange ideas about trading, provided the traders are equally open minded about trading. That is why I love reading about trading, not because I want to use systems and methods from the books, but because they get my mind working and I come up with good stuff for my own systems and methods. What I would not welcome is sitting down with people who think there is only one way to trade, and that is the way they do. I see that all the time on ET from the one-way brigade always going on about this won't work, that won't work. Sitting down with people like that would be a crushing bore. As to the work environment, I suspect the OP is conflicted because he compares trading to a normal office environment where one can interact with colleagues and build workplace relationships. I agree that having such relationships is nice, though when it comes to getting the job done, I'm most effective working alone with minimal distractions. This is something one has to decide for oneself. The best job I've ever done had the status of independent contractor, so you got paid a fee only when you worked, and there were no benefits. At a rough guess 90% of new hires left in the first 2 years because they wanted 'normal' jobs. For them it was good for the experience, but lacking the stability they saw in 'normal' jobs.
Will have a go at fulltime in near future, again. I was so far on and off trading for many years. Earning close to 200k pa in my job, it is not easy to switch to trading. Earning even 200K on average is not worth it as it has to compensate for distribution of winnings, occasional down year, more stress etc. My view is to go full time and ALL IN ! You make 1M and then are good to go. You fuck up, go back to work and replenish account and try again. Alternative, you make 3 years 200k p/a, then edge disappears. You cant go to work, at least not for good money, and have no edge. TRADE TO GET RICH NOW ! see how my talk translates to action