With the I & I flu season underway, many public health officials are publicly discussing their concern of the effects of a public I & I flu epidemc. The I & I flu, while common, is hard to track because it is often difficult for health care workers to diagnose. People suffering from the I & I flu may exhibit symptoms including short inchoherent sentences, exhaustion caused by minimal physical effort (you can just tell, yuk yuk), difficulty communicating in socially acceptable manners and delusions of grandeur. "So as you can see," says Centers for Disease Control spokesman Dr. Stunata, "symptoms can go unnoticed and even tolerated by interenet users everywhere." And the message board is the epicenter of I & I flu, suggest most experts. "Like the rats of the Black Plague, the I & I flu travels by mouse," warns Stunata. "Support staff often brings the flu into the posting community after contracting it from the mice of 'carriers'." Ways to avoid the I & I flu: Experts suggest a system of dumbification to ward of the seasonal flu. Buy a Roxio brand MP3 player and constantly refer to it as an "iPod" even to people who you know know the difference Change your car stereo presets to: 1. Clear Channel 2. Right wing talk 3. Sports talk 4. Anything with the word "Mix" in it Begin using Microsoft⢠Windows⢠Shop at a brick and mortar store once per month - try not to obsess about the inventory database or the distribution logistics Read Cosmopolitan magazine cover to cover and choose three pages that were interesting in non-masturbatory ways Carriers include investment professionals, noobs, "loosers" secretaries, accountants, CEO's and any other hapless boobs whose sole purpose, I & I flu sufferers believe, is to provide motivations for someone like me. To be continued.....
mavedick, it appears that you had been dropped on your head too many times as a toddler. too fuckin bad. no matter, ya can still ship yourself to iraq under fragile freight.