Way harsh my'man, way harsh . My looks + intelligence are good enough, the humor part is there if I focus on it (and not if I don't), but the moeny thing keeps tripp'in me up ... so there's is alot of truth in what you're say'in here. But there are also the additional factors of desireability (if I have a girl, getting another one is easier than shooting ducks in a barrel) and just plain being nice (for the romantic types out there). JJ
You wanna know a secret? It isn't even the money that matters. Money is just correlated to something far more important to women: that you have both feet planted on the ground and have "grown up". Most women in college and younger go for the "rock star" (dreamers) type. That works great when there are no worries and all you have to do is exist, since when you are in school you are essentially living in utopia. As women get older, the instinct changes and most are looking for a stable relationship to raise kids in, even thought they may internally want the romantic dreamer. The stable and reliable traits overwhelm other factors. Looks are very subjective. We find attractive what we grew up with, features that make the person seem like he is from the same "clan." So it is a disaster to our self-esteem to believe we are not attractive, since outside of a few people, most of us are/aren't attractive to many many people, and there is no scientific measure of that. Some people find traits outside their "clan" attractive. That is more complicated and shows just how complicated attraction based on physical traits is. Sense of humor is also subjective and cultural, although it is probably the single most desirable feature of a person imo, since it is the single quality that makes another person overlook everything else about you, and makes them to be blind to everything else about you. It is the one way that another person really lets their guard down to learn who you really are - to see your "soul" and imprint it uniquely into their brain. The brain is the sex organ. Money and Intelligence are really the only universals. If you are rich you are rich. Money for it's own sake as an aphrodisiac is for people with very little imagination. Intelligence is slightly less so universal and is probably cultural as well (think of the people that ask, if you are so smart, why aren't you rich?) What does this all mean? You have to mix with those people that instinctively find you funny and good looking and sociable. Money and intelligence only matter as second order effects imo. nitro
Good equation. I, however, would substitute money for drive/ambition since money comes and goes but a natural drive to succeed will last. Other than that, the equation is solid.
One's desirability has nothing to do with the fact most American women are fat. Your 'desirability' equation is oversimplistic and not even relevant for many women. Some women put religion ahead of all 4 of those. Others put power at the top. I would say loyalty and honesty are ahead of those 4 for any woman who wants a long-term relationship. I know some women will not date guys who are too attractive and successful because they are assumed to be unloyal. The formula for desirability is too complex to be listed in 1 sentence, and those are not the big 4. There is no big 4.
Saw a program last night: The Secret lives of women. It was an American show. Was about plastic surgery. One guy had to sell his house as his wife wanted so much plastic surgery. He was really unhappy about it. He said "All Ive worked for is disappearing under a mountain of debt - but you have to do what you have to do". [my comment - your wife doesnt have to get plastic surgery - it is not a necessity]. The wife on the show (American) was saying: "I think self esteem and body esteem is so important. You only have one body." [my comment - go to the fkn gym and work out. Or love others more. Or love yourself regardless of what you look like]. She was getting liposuction, again, and apparently did no exercise.
That is such a utilitarian (American?) way of looking at things. I know plenty of people who are together BECAUSE THEY HAVE RAPPORT. They like and respect each other.
I live in America. I am making an observation about America. In Outer Mongolia two people may like each other based on how many rings you can pierce through your nose, or in Australia on something else. I agree that the equation is utilitarian. I should have said, "all things being equal...", but if you read the two posts carefully, you see that the spirit of the posts is exactly that. I should have also quoted the factors in the equation so that people would not take it literally, but I thought the rest of the post would indicate that these were meant as variables to stand in for something like "money", "sense of humor", etc. nitro
Agreed. You got the spirit of the post when you start changing one thing that could stand for another. If I had said it this way, x + y + z + t = desirability It would have been far less interesting and far too general. nitro
Ah shit, so ill have to really lower my standards huh. Dammit, whats wrong with women, why can they see a good thing....when they see it. Presumably, a prada shoe discount or pink shirts or something is in order(no offense Surf, or Ms annaland), and i would suggest nitro, as usual is close to the money in his equation.
I met my wife, who's from Japan, when I was living in Hawaii. She's Great! Been together nearly 10 years. Here's a pic: http://www.kencalhoun.com/wife.jpg And she's still thin like when I met her, has cooked and cleaned for me for 10 years, and has been faithful, honest, almost no arguing (and I'm a difficult guy, so that's saying a lot), and I'm really glad I met her. The longest I could stay with an American woman, before they'd cheat on me or argue and nag too much, was 2-3 years max. Japanese women rule! ganbatte, ken calhoun p.s. plus, thanks to her I don't drink, don't eat junk food, instead I get fresh 2-3 course homecooked meals every day that taste great, and am perfectly healthy. So I am very grateful to her. And she's pretty.