The very best advice that could be given to you is, 'Go back to your old job. Forget trading completely'.
LOVE the markets? Fuck that. Love your wife or girlfriend or boyfriend or your dog or whatever gets your dipstick wet.. Work the markets... Love money because it's a tool... A tool that can provide you with freedom and excesses...
You already made up half way to trading success by admitting trading is difficult and the hurdle you are facing. The fee of $20K, maybe not all of that amount, is for you to learn as much as possible the market behavior and especially yourself. The odds are at your side because you have excellent traders here who already gave you useful advice and you will get more from them along this thread.
This book turned my mistakes into profits very quickly: http://www.amazon.com/Market-Makers-Edge-Josh-Lukeman/dp/0071412743 The first chapter is no-nonsense loss management - how to choose position size and manage risk. If you follow this book diligently, you'll do great. But after you've had a string of successes, then comes the real danger. You're doing great, making lots of profits and you feel rather invincible and one day you get a bit lazy. Happened to me twice this past month after an incredible string of successes. First was an options trade that was rallying and I planned to set up the exit strategy the next day. Gap down and it was over - goodbye $8K. (SET UP YOUR EXIT STRATEGY AS SOON AS YOU PUT ON THE TRADE) Second was a day trade on a highly volatile stock, and I set up a very loose stop to allow breathing room. Brief rally, sharp pullback, then rally again. I tightened my stop a bit to cut short the max potential loss I had already settled on and was willing to accept. Got stopped out at a $3900 loss 30 minutes before it rallied back to a profit. (STICK WITH YOUR ORIGINAL TRADING PLAN)