Falling Down, And Getting Back Up Again.

Discussion in 'Journals' started by lundy, Dec 5, 2002.

  1. lundy


    I never thought I'd start a journal like this before, but here I am.

    Without going into too much detail about my personal issues, life, or friends' lives, here is my story.

    I started trading in March 2000. The markets were at highs, and euphoria was all around. A friend of mine traded under 10 dollar stocks and used Qcharts, and RJT online as his broker. So I figured I'd do the same. I read 2 books: The Electronic Daytrader and Market Wizards. I also read everything I could online including Phantoms interview. I assimilated all the technical analysis I ever would, and then I started trading.

    Using Level 2 thru Qcharts and RJT, I quickly burned thru 5k. I went at it again, but this time turned the 5k into 22k. That made a nice 12k profit so far. This is where it gets sticky.

    I was trading a client/partners money, and the day before we were going to upgrade our broker to tradecast direct, I lost 8k. It's sticky cause I didn't say anything about it. Me being the more computer savy, I handled all the broker statements. This was the beginning of the end. Doing this one thing made it so much easier the next time (later in the story)

    Surprisingly, when I switched to tradecast, I started losing money. My reasoning for this is that I was so excited with my new toys, I was way over trading, and spending less time contemplating the trade. Eventually after lots of ups and downs, I lost it again.

    For a few months, I stopped trading but actively watched and discussed the markets in chatrooms. During this time, I was exposed to lots of new things like elliot wave, fibonacci, gann, astrology, etc., and I started developing my own techniques.

    I was searching for the magic bullet. Then I found it, or so I thought. So me and my partner went into the trading arena again. Needless to say, I lost the new acct quickly. I didn't backtest my strategy using a program like tradestation, instead I front tested it in the market using real cash, a poorly tested strategy, and no discipline.

    Now certainly my partner wasn't going to be happy about this. And I certainly wans't going to accept failure!!

    If a tree falls in a remote forest and nobody saw it, did it really fall?

    If it sounds like I've gotten myself into a bad situation, your right. But, this is only the BEGINNING OF THE END of me.

    Stay tuned while I gather my thoughts, and post part 2 of the story.
  2. lundy


    since I didn't really give an introduction for the journal, I will here mixed with some random thoughts.

    and no this isn't part 2, it will be coming though, cause thats when shit flys.

    on the surface, this journal is about me getting back on my feet. A deeper look and it's about change, truth, pride, identity, humility, and human nature - good and bad.

    this journal is an outlet for me to express myself in a truthful way without any false identity. Since I have pretended to be someone I'm not for most of my life, I am now releived that people know me, whether a failure, or a success. I'm just coming into my own identity and want to be a success in my eyes now, and not judge myself by what others think.

    also as I try to get back up again, without letting this loss affect me as a person, maybe others who are in the same situation might be touched.

    this journal will include very material things, such as job inquires, carreer related activities, also random thoughts about changes, or confessions, etc.

    I welcome feedback.
  3. Ditch


    Wow, you gotta have big balls to come foreward like this!!!! Respect.
  4. lundy


    Ditch, it's goes way deeper than balls. This is from the heart. I sincerely apologize to all humanity, living souls, and to God for what I have done.

    I have been walking backwards my whole life, and wondering why I don't get anywhere. This journal is my first step forward. It's a baby step, but at least it's in the right direction.
  5. Ditch



    english isn't my mother tongue, so i might have chosen the wrong expression, but i'm sure that you will grow as a human being, because right now you're doing something few people can: facing reality, admitting your own mistakes and learning from it.
  6. lundy


    I may be jumping ahead of myself here, but I'll go ahead anyway. Although you haven't heard part 2 of the story yet, you probably know where I ended up. SH*T CREEK. HEAD HIGH.

    So, I have to make money. I'm working a 9-5 job. Earns cash. However, at this rate it will take me more than 365 years to pay off my debt, NOT including interest.

    So I'm looking at a few different things.

    I may want to become a trained proprietary trader using arbitrage or 'safe, not too risky' strategies. Feel free to contact me.

    I am currently using WealthLab and backtesting several of the esoteric techniques I developed during my short ride in the fast lane. I will post results for these as they develop, and perhaps someone might be interested in one of them. Feel free to contact me.

    I have some other outrageous ideas as well, i'll post them tomorrow when my thoughts settle.
  7. lundy


    I could write a book, do a script for a movie (based on a true story).

    these are both pretty outrageous though.

    I can see the newspapers now saying "Jason K. Lundy lost millions in the stock market then made millions by writing a book(or movie script) about it"

    hmmm. has any big losers ever done this. If so did their books sell?
  8. lundy


    ok, it's 1:35 am in Hawaii, and I gotta work in the morning, I'll be back tomorrow evening to finish part 2. Pls feel free to comment in this journal, or pm me about anything and everything you like.

    thanks Ditch for your support.
  9. I'm sure your story will mirror many other experiences traders have gone through. I've experienced some of the same things you've already talked about. Losing my money and other people's and not wanting to face the reality that I sucked as a trader and didn't have a clue what I was doing. But getting your head on straight and being honest with yourself is the only way to get on track. Congrats on standing up and doing it and don't let any negative comments that might come your way deter you.
  10. Ditch


    The same goes for me. Every trader knows the pains and troubles from his own experience you have to go through on your way to profitability and on this track you may start doing crazy things. Therefore those assholes, that like to make to make fun of people, who are still strugling to get there, make me throw up. They are either fake , not knowing what is it really like, or uncapable of any empathy for another person. I really hope they are not tempted.
    #10     Dec 5, 2002