As a public service, I am going to share with you the travails of my Alzheimer's client some of you already know as "Joe." He has difficulty attending to the market, as I documented earlier here. This week our exercise in attentiveness was to prove to him that every time he gets bored and goes to ET, the market moves, so that he misses an opportune trading entry. Today he went cold turkey, no ET. I put parental controls on his computer locking him out of trading porn. Each day I will share with you his reactions to this and his improvement in attentiveness to the market. Today he had elevated blood pressure, heart palpitations, the shakes, dry heaves, and cold sweats. "Doc, check the 'Favourite Posters' thread and tell me if anyone has mentioned me yet!" "No, Joe, you need to realize that you are a total dumb fuck and nobody thinks you have anything to offer." "Then check my PMs and see if NoJoji has responded to my offer to make beautiful code together." "Joe, I hate to tell you this, but she is a classy happily married woman who would retch at the thought of consorting with trailer trash like you." "OK. Then can I surf some porn instead?" "Only if it's something I like too, something tasteful, like pregnantlactatingsquirrelsinbondage.com." "Wow! This is cool! I can't ever remember getting a boner reading ET!" I handed him a sample of medical grade KY and shooed him out of my office before I had to disinfect it. More tomorrow.
Sounds like a case of ETTPTD (ET Trading Porn Transmitted Disease), which it appears can be transmitted by PM-ing someone who's infected, even if the sender was off by only a single letter. That would explain the merely dry heaves; my heaves were far from dry yesterday when I was likely at my apex of contagiousness. Contagiousness? Is that the right word? Or is it contango? No, no...contango has something to do with...(dancing?), no, no, no...something to do with spreads...mmm, spreads, makes me want some toast and jelly to calm my poor sick tummy. I think I'm out of grape jelly. Is KY good with toast?
Day Two: "Doc, what kind of weird name is Mudgins?" "It's Welsh, you illiterate Appalachian Ape!" "Don't get all snooty on me, Doc. I'll have you know I was my high school's maledictorian!" "So how are you doing without ET?" "I desperately need to know what Jack and Surf said to each other overnight." "The usual spitting contest, except that they ran out of the more exotic imprecations in English and had to switch to French: Bite! Pine! Salop! Salopard!" "Did NoDoji say anything about me?" "She thinks your chart color palette reeks of bad taste. And that she wouldn't sleep with you in a million years even if your bed wasn't full of dogs trying to get warm because the heat is out in your single-wide since you didn't pay your bill again. And that you're never going to attract a classy lady trader like her when you only make twenty bucks a trade."
"Joe" just called me in a fever pitch: "Doc! No ET is worse than No Doji! You know I usually spend Saturday mornings getting into lathered pissing contests on ET with people I don't even know. This morning I got so bored that I went to Friday's chart and looked at it. Did you know that there are 23,400 seconds in a session? I scrolled through every one of them and suddenly it struck me. On that time scale price rises to resistance, bounces off, retraces a bit, then rises to crash through resistance, relaxes, tests support at the old resistance, and rises again to rinse and repeat! Until it doesn't, whereupon it reverses the process! Why didn't anybody ever tell me it was so easy?" I think I'm going to have to prescribe him a relaxant.
That kinda crap only happens in Brooks' fairy tale books. For the ultimate in instant relaxation, I highly recommend buying inverted hammers and selling hammers. Like taking candy from a baby.