New highs for the S&P 500 by 9-18 or I'll grow a mullet and binge watch Tiger King on an iPad in the Squawk Box studio wearing a naked cowboy diaper.
My willingness to humiliate myself stops at mullets and red, white, and blue man diapers. A man can only degrade himself so far.
I tell you, a Bloomberg/CNBC type media product that provides investors and traders actionable advice would crush the competition.