Earnest Advice to ET Advertisers

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by Arthur Deco, Jul 4, 2010.

  1. On those rare occasions when an ET advertisement seizes my involuntary attention by its blatant stupidity or offensiveness, I am momentarily motivated to offer helpful advert advice, having for five years a couple of lifetimes ago written ad copy for my own retail business. My fit of generosity soon passes. But not today. Today my mind was seized by such egregious moronity (not real a word) that I must share my madman brilliance. Starting with TradeStation. The current advert reads "Can't find trading opportunities in quiet markets? Find them with TradeStation!" Well, duh! There aren't any fucking opportunities in quiet markets. Unless they have found a way to predict breakouts. Which I doubt. Anyone who did most ass-suredly would keep it to himself. So they managed to offend even my low intelligence. Who do they want as clients? Cretins? Or people who actually trade? If they want to get the business of traders like me who use EasySignal, they'd better offer something really hot shit. Not hot air.
  2. Next let us consider LightSpeed. I can save you the trouble of watching their featured video "The Unfair Advantages of Trading with LightSpeed." They offer, gasp! Charting! In multiple time frames! Level Two! Indicators! Oscillators! News! A chat board! Unfair, I say! To offer such innovations! As icing on the cake "Our staff are mostly former traders!" Need we wonder why? Hope ET is making them pay upfront.
  3. Say Art,

    I rarely post and find most of the things on ET leaving me with the depressing feeling that I'll never get those precious minutes of my life back, but your posts - especially lately - have been some of the best entertainment I've had here in quite some time!

    I was going to send you a PM, but alas, no such option exists, so I'm forced to actually post. Nevertheless, love your work!
  4. T56, thank you for your kind encouragement. Most people here find little room for humor in trading. They would if they could see my daily execution reports. I apologize for not being accessible by PM. I had a very bad experience once that made my shy away everafter. Also I believe in spreading the foolishness around, so I am not averse to dialogueing in the open for the disenlightenment of all.
  5. markcfd


    Great stuff Arthur :D I can take some humor.
  6. I am sure the advertisers thank you, Mark, for your appreciation of their humor. I do but bring it to your attention. Ridicule may in fact improve the appeal of ET ads. I notice that the pretty boy who looked like he wanted to blow me in the AnyOption ads I reviled here is gone:


    Maybe a member took him off the market.
  7. NinjaTrader thinks ET members cannot sustain reading attention long enough to go from an asterisk in the ad copy to the clarifying note at the bottom of the page:

    "download NinjaTrader V6 and access all of these tools for free* from a single source"

    What a difference an asterisk makes:

    * NinjaTrader, LLC only charges for use of the application if and when you decide you wish to use NinjaTrader to execute trades in a live brokerage account

    So you can papertrade with their app for free. That is THE first time I have ever seen a data provider admit that papertrading is worthless.
  8. Surdo


    Now if you'll admit your drivel about Advertisers is worthless here, we will be onto something.

  9. Retief


    It's not worthless. It's entertaining and entertainment has value.
  10. OK, Surdo, I so stipulate! I cannot help being a reflection the client base they clearly want to attract. BTW, your handle reminds me of the girlfriend I had while I was taking freshman calculust: Abscissa Surd.
    #10     Jul 5, 2010