Drinking Toasts!

Let this be a thread toward good/funny/moral/immoral drinking toasts.

Here's a good one.

[on a male friend's birthday]

I wish you live untill 138
And at 138 you die
Not only die, but murdered
But not just murdered but stabbed by a jealous husband
And not just murdered by a jealous husband - but by a justifiably jealous husband!

 

May all your ups and downs be in the bedroom

 

May the winds in your back never be your own

 

May your moccasins make happy tracks in many snows and the rainbow always touch your shoulder

 

???

There's only one thing to toast to:

A toast to all the bitches and sluts.

 

Here's to lying, stealing, and cheating:

Lie to save a friend;
Steal the heart of the one you love;
Cheat death.

DS

 

He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi!

 

oh yeah, bill brasky..

i once saw him eat a whole chicken -LIVE!