Don't Waste Time Watching Oscars, Winners Revealed Here

Discussion in 'Politics' started by AAAintheBeltway, Mar 3, 2006.

  1. As idiotic as Hollywood and its goofy liberals are every year, they have really gone over the top this year. The leading films are a virtual PC parade in praise of pretty much everything that Red States America finds objectionable. To avoid the annoyance of watching overpaid celebrities feign humilty, I offer this preview of the Oscars, courtesy of the liberals', oops I mean progressives, favorite commentator, Ann Coulter.


    March 1, 2006

    This is my first annual Oscar predictions column, for which I am uniquely qualified by not having seen a single one of the movies nominated in any category. I've never even watched an Oscar ceremony, except once when a friend called me 35 minutes into Halle Berry's acceptance speech and I managed to catch only the last 20 minutes of it.

    I shall grant my awards based on the same criteria Hollywood studio executives now use to green-light movies: political correctness. Also, judging by most of the nominees this year, the awards committee prefers movies that are wildly unpopular with audiences.

    The box office numbers for this year's favorite, "Brokeback Mountain," are more jealously guarded than the nuclear codes in the president's black box. Hollywood liberals want the government to release everything we know about al-Zarqawi, but refuse to release the number of people who have seen "Brokeback Mountain."

    I shall summarize the plots of the five movies nominated for best picture below:

    — "Brokeback Mountain" (gay)

    — "Capote" (death penalty with bonus gay lead)

    — "Crash" (racism)

    — "Good Night, and Good Luck" (McCarthyism)

    — "Munich" (Jew athletes at Munich had it coming)

    Everyone says it's going to be "Crash," but I think "Crash" is too popular with filmgoers. Moreover, Hollywood feels it has done enough for the blacks. Hollywood can never do enough for the gays. Gays in the military, gays in the Texas Rangers, gays on the range. It's like a brokeback record! As Pat Buchanan said, homosexuality has gone from "the love that dare not speak its name" to "the love that won't shut up."

    Is the idea of gay cowboys really that new? Didn't the Village People do that a couple of decades ago? Am I the only person who saw John Travolta in "Urban Cowboy"?

    Movies with the same groundbreaking theme to come:

    — "Westward Homo!"

    — "The Magnificent, Fabulous Seven"

    — "Gunfight at the K-Y Corral"

    — "How West Hollywood Was Won"

    OK, back to predictions. The best director award will go to ... Ang Lee, director of "Brokeback Mountain." (For analysis, see above.) Also, this is gays directed by an Asian, which should satisfy the gaysians. Hands down: Ang Lee.

    The nominees for best actor in a leading role are:

    — Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Capote"

    — Terrence Howard, "Hustle & Flow"

    — Heath Ledger, "Brokeback Mountain"

    — Joaquin Phoenix, "Walk the Line"

    — David Strathairn, "Good Night, and Good Luck"

    The winner in this category will be ... Philip Seymour Hoffman. The awards committee can't give everything to "Brokeback Mountain," and at least Truman Capote was gay (though not a cowboy). I personally would have chosen the lion in the Narnia movie, but he wasn't even nominated.

    The nominees for best actress in a leading role are:

    — Judi Dench, "Mrs. Henderson Presents"

    — Felicity Huffman, "Transamerica"

    — Keira Knightley, "Pride & Prejudice"

    — Charlize Theron, "North Country"

    — Reese Witherspoon, "Walk the Line"

    I gather Reese Witherspoon is very good in "Walk the Line," but that's irrelevant — this is the Oscars! Felicity Huffman plays a pre-op transsexual in "Transamerica." That strikes a chord in Hollywood. It's not exactly gay, but close enough! I say Huffman wins.

    For best actress in a supporting role, Rachel Weisz ought to win for "The Constant Gardener" because it's about how drug companies are evil, which to me is the essence of quality acting. Plus, English accent equals good acting. But Michelle Williams ("Brokeback Mountain") is engaged to Heath Ledger, who played a gay guy in "Brokeback Mountain." So I pick Weisz, with Williams as the dark-horse favorite.

    The best original screenplay will be "Good Night, and Good Luck" as Hollywood's final tribute to the old Stalinists (Hollywood's version of "The Greatest Generation"). George Clooney has been mau-mauing the awards committee by going around boasting that conservatives have called him a "traitor," although I believe the precise term was "airhead."

    Finally, my favorite category: best foreign language film. The nominees are:

    — "Don't Tell" (Italy)

    — "Joyeux Noel" (France)

    — "Paradise Now" (Palestine)

    — "Sophie Scholl" (Germany)

    — "Tsotsi" (South Africa)

    After consulting with the Yale admissions committee, the awards committee will give the Oscar to ... "Paradise Now," a heartwarming story about Palestinian suicide bombers. How good is it? Al-Jazeera gave it 4 1/2 pipe bombs. It's Air Syria's featured in-flight movie this month — go figure! I don't want to spoil the ending for you, but let's just say there won't be a sequel.

    Normally, the smart money is on the Holocaust movie, so any other year, "Sophie Scholl" would have been the clear favorite. Unfortunately for the makers of "Sophie Scholl," their Holocaust movie came out the same year as a pro-terrorist movie, so they lose.

    As a final prediction, for the second year, there will be no mention of Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh, who was brutally murdered by an angry Muslim a little over a year ago on the streets of Amsterdam. (Now that's blacklisted!) I also predict this will be the lowest-rated Oscars ever. Remember to turn off your cell phones, no talking ... or sleeping.
  2. I never watch any Hollywood awards shows, a waste of time.
  3. I can't stand this woman. It's people like her, on both the left and the right, that give punditry a very bad name. Anyone who promotes political polarity as incessantly as this bitch does, needs to be cut down to size. I look forward to the inevitable scandal she's bound to involve herself in.
  4. 4 and a half pipe bombs! haha!!
  5. Ann's favorite actor, is/was of course Ronald Reagan.

    One of her favorite roles was Reagan as "The Gipper."

    Another one was in "Bedtime for Bonzo."

    Of course, her favorite acting job by Reagan was when Reagan was president, and delivered off the script and teleprompters just like a "B" movie actors and "Death Valley Day's" hosts should....
  6. ..."I believe the precise term was airhead." Ouch.
  7. They might want to pat this guy down before they let him into the Oscar's ceremony.

    Oscar nominee: People hate Israelis for a reason

    Hany Abu-Assad, Israeli-born director of Oscar-nominated film ‘Paradise Now,’ which has stirred controversy for its depiction of two young Palestinian suicide bombers, says in interview with Yedioth Ahronoth terror derives from another terror and that suicide bombings are a reaction to Israel's terror
    Avner Hofstein

    HOLLYWOOD - Hany Abu-Assad's film "Paradise Now" left few Israelis indifferent. The movie, which depicts the story of two young Palestinians in Nablus who were chosen by a local terror group to carry out a suicide bombing in Israel, and which trails their preparations ahead of the attack, infuriated many in the country, most notably publicist Irit Linor, who in an opinion column in Ynet called "Paradise Now" "a quality Nazi film."


    Anti-Semitism now / Irit Linor

    Two years ago the Israel Film Foundation refused funding for Paradise Now. Here's why
    Full Story

    In an interview with Yedioth Ahronoth, the Israeli-born director of the Golden Globe award winner for Best Foreign Film emerges as no less controversial than his recent production. At the beginning of our talk he demands that when quoting him I would refrain from using the term "terrorist" to describe people sent to explode themselves in buses and markets.

    This is an act of terror, but this terror derives from another terror, Abu-Assad explains. Suicide bombings are a reaction to your terror, he says, and suggests the most accurate term to describe a suicide bombing would be "a counter-terrorist act."

    The occupiers and the occupation are the real terrorists. The real terror is stealing the Palestinians' right to live free on their land, Abu-Assad claims.

    Confronted with the statement that his words seem to come close to justifying the bombers' actions, Abu-Assad says that in order to stop terror, there is a need to look at the full picture.

    'Jews forget they were victims'

    Abu-Assad deeply resents Linor's article, which stirred a row of its own upon publication. Articles like this make it harder for me to fight prejudice against Jews, he says.

    Someone dares speak up against your movie and already it's hard for you to avoid being critical toward Jews?

    They are not just opposed to my film; they also claim to represent all Jews, he states. This is why such an article is "racist and fascist," he says.

    Abu-Assad says Linor truly believes people who belong to another nation are different than her. She thinks people who don't accept the fact the occupation is the source for suicidal acts in effect says the Palestinian culture is the root of terror, evil, he explains.

    It's hard to see the way Jews, who were once the victims of prejudice and paid a heavy price for anti-Semitism, today act the same, he states. "It makes you want to stop believing in humanity."

    Even during the Holocaust, people did not strap on a bomb and set out to kill innocent people.

    This was a different situation that only lasted six years, Abu-Assad replies, adding that in the first 30 years of occupation there were no suicide bombings. Who knows what would have happened in Germany had the oppression continued for 30 years, he asks rhetorically.

    Abu-Assad stresses he is a pacifist who believes any killing is wrong, and that he advocates a non-violent struggle as the right method for obtaining one's goals. However, he states, while he currently has the privilege to make such a stand, in a different situation his moral position may have been different.

    In other words, had you been living in the territories, you would have become a shahid (martyr)?

    Abu-Assad hesitates for a second before replying, "yes." He recounts an episode in which he was humiliated by a soldier at the Kalandiya checkpoint near Jerusalem, and says this was what made him realize what runs through the heads of people who later become suicide bombers.

    You feel like such a coward it kills you, he describes, saying this cowardice makes people start hating life and feel impotent.

    I realized, Abu-Assad explains, that when a man systematically goes through such humiliation, he chooses to kill his own impotency by carrying out an act of "let me die with the philistines."

    And there are no suicide bombers who do what they do because of anti-Semitism?

    That's a racist notion. No one hates Jews because they are Jews like in Europe, he replies. People have a reason for hating Israelis. You force them to live in refugee camps, and they tell you 'our home is in Ashdod'," he states.

    Do you really believe they kill in order to kill Jews, He asks. They are no different than you as people. If you believe they are different, that's racism, he adds.

    According to Abu-Assad, it is the situation that brought about the loss of control. I think, he says, that you have been "brainwashed" by the country to believe all Arabs are either a security risk or a danger to democracy.

    When asked what he believes could be a solution for the conflict, Abu-Assad says equality is the key.

    Pleading with the Academy

    Bereaved parents slam 'Paradise Now' nomination / Andrew Friedman

    Group mails petition with more than 32,000 signatures to Motion Picture Academy of America, calls for Oscar nomination for suicide bomber film to be rescinded; Bereaved father: Paradise Now is hell now for us, every day
    Full Story

    The solution would come once you recognize the equal rights of Jews and Arabs over all the land, including Tel Aviv and Nazareth, Abu-Assad declares, adding this also includes recognition in the Right of Return. After you recognize these principles, we would be able to split the country 50-50. This would be the practical solution, he says.

    'I'm not Israeli'

    Abu-Assad, was born and raised in Nazareth, but left Israel more than 20 years ago, and never returned to the country for a permanent stay. He resides in Holland, where he creates most of his films and secures most of the funding for his projects.

    As a Palestinian teen, you don't have the same privileges others have, he says. Abu-Assad says he was a curious person that knew that if he stays in Israel he would become crippled, because he wouldn't have the same access to knowledge Israelis have.

    I remind him he may become the first Israeli director to win an Oscar. He, in return, chuckles.

    "Darling," he says with slight cynicism and contempt, "I am not Israeli."

    But you carry an Israeli passport.

    That's true, but I'm not Israeli, he says. Israel calls itself a Jewish state, and I'm not Jewish. If it becomes everybody's state, then I would be able to be called Israeli, he concludes.

    I cannot accept the Jewish state as long as there is no settlement over the land, he adds.
  8. I'd rather read the koran than watch the hollywood jerkoffs pat themselves on the back.
  9. Lucrum


    Me neither and I agree.
  10. She does have some great lines. That is fucking funny.
    #10     Mar 3, 2006