You mean like on Saturday, during Obama's initial press conference about the tragedy, he's there going: "and my good friend..." (looks down at notes to find name) "...Gabby Gifford ..."?
And when a little girl is killed or dies anywhere you don't have to have known her to feel upset, remorse whatever word you want to put there but its tragic and expressing that to others is just holding the line on common decency. All life is sacred esp. ones that didn't get a shot at it. Its like all little girls are that same little girl for what its worth.
Before I became a father, I felt sorry for a family that had lost a child. Now that I have a son of my own, I really know the feelings of a family that has lost a child. Hard as it may seem, the reality of losing a child is different when you are a parent.
Actually, I'll amend what I posted before and say not only is a service/funeral not all about you (figuratively "you" as in the person that died) it is solely for those who survive you. If they put your remains out on the curb on trash day, what does it matter to you - you're not even there. The service is for those grieving. The easiest way to look at it is if (God forbid) you were to pass away before your parents. Assuming you had a reasonable relationship with them, to deny them a kind comment or two about you would be selfish on your part. Some would confuse narcissism for strength, when it is not. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_vCnrSUjEc
I think what the OP means is that he hates when people act like they knew the victim,not that people empathize with people who lost someone. For instance...this guy crying over michael jackson Probably pisses him off as the guy is upset like he lost his best friend when he didnt even know him. <object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZqPgh1S4whI?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZqPgh1S4whI?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
I kind of agree with you. I do feel empathy BUT I'll say, "that's a shame and a sad situation" or something along those lines. I won't go into what a great person they were when I have no idea what i'm talking about.
Someone going overboard feigning familiarity would be disingenuous. But you could spot that from a mile away. That Michael Jackson fan obviously had developed an emotional attachment, though definitely a one-way one. Some people cry when their pets die. I remember having a sinking feeling when Reagan was shot, thinking we were going to lose yet another President. Can't say I ever met the man though. If someone does not know the deceased well, but expresses condolences as best they know how, they can be awkward without being insincere.