I know that this thought process is most likely irrational, but i get extremely angry when people talk about victims, or people who died as though they were good friends, even though they hardly knew them. This dates back to when my best friend died in highschool, and i always remember how pissed off i was at all the people coming up to me and telling me what a good guy he was when they didnt even know him, i see this happening in the media all the time and it has been brought to the forefront by Gabby Gifford. I cant stand people who didnt even know the victim coming out and talking about what a good person the victim was when you know damn well they didnt even know them. Does anyone get what i mean? I am going to put a caviat in my will which says that when i die the only people who can talk about me at my funeral are people who dont like me, and that no one is allowed to talk about what a good person i was. It is all so fake in my opinion, id rather know that people hated me, as opposed to knowing they pretended to like me when i died.
When a human (and sometimes an animal) life is lost it is lost for ever. I think we are here to grow, experience and learn about science, relationships and love. When a young life is lost that never had a chance to experience and learn from all that life has to offer I feel a tremendous amount of grief over that loss. Even when it is not someone I know because I realize what a loss that sole and those who know that person have experienced, never to be recaptured. Only those who believe death is the end can think in terms of just another inevitable death.
You use words like "infuriated" and "extremely angry" just because of what other people say. I find it very odd that you get so worked up over something that somebody says. Maybe you need to take an anger management class. If that doesn't work, maybe you could try some meds. One of our cats is now on Prozac. He stopped fighting with the dogs.
I agree, and i feel sadness when young people die as well, i felt a tremendous amount of sadness when my best friend died, i just cant stand the phoniness when people all of a sudden rally to a persons side when they are already dead, even though they didnt know the person.
The people who told you that your friend was a good guy wanted to help and support you. The average person feels a wide spectrum of negative and powerful feelings when they lose someone such as guilt, anger and sadness. Anyone who has dealt with a loss knows those feelings. Therefore when the average person sees another person suffering it is only natural to do everything they can to eradicate and numb those feelings. At your funeral would you rather have people talk about what an ass you were in life thus magnifying the negative feelings your surviving family has about the whole situation or would you want people to comfort your family?
I understand this, im not inhuman, infact my eyes often tear up when i see fathers or mothers of victims expressing their sadness, i just dont understand it when people who dont even know the deceased person act like they were some kind of close friend. I understand the gesture, i just dont like it. It is probably a defense mechanism on my part from when my friend died, and being angry that he died so young, but i cant seem to change it. When i see it in the media or in real life, i still get mad when people act phony about a person who has died. I understand the fact that it is a kind gesture to talk about what a good person the deceased was, but i just see it as fake
People don't say things to comfort the dead, they say it to comfort the living. That is because it is a period of powerlessness for everyone involved, and since everyone (EVERYONE) has already, or will, experience it, it is a an expression of empathy. This is not hard to understand unless you make no emotional attachments to anyone in a lifetime. Your comment is a selfish one. If you were the one who were dead, anyone speaking kindly about you would be as a comfort to your survivors. You may disdain it, but even in death, it isn't all about you.