Divorce and trading

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by Old School, Jan 30, 2007.

  1. I'd like to hear form anyone who went through divorce while they were trading.

    After almost 20 yrs, I am getting a divorce.

    I'd like to know if there's anything that really stood out during the inevitable increase in stress and emotions. I have already made the decision to stop trading for a while.

    I'd just like to hear from actual traders who went through this and anything that might help.

    Thanks as always...

  2. mjh


    You made a wise decision to stop trading while you're going thru a divorce. I went thru it after 22 years of marriage and stopped for 2 years. It was worth it. I had too many emotional issues to deal with let alone the emotions of daytrading/swing trading.

    At first I thought I would be able to keep my mind off of my pending divorce, but I nefer could and it cost me lots of $$$ until I stopped. Now-8 years later I'm happier than I ever have been in my life (at 50) and still losing money---but I'm a happy loser LOL> (just kiddding).

    You may want to consider a support group for divorced men or seperated men (I'm just assuming youre a dude). You can alos PM me if you want and I will try to help you if I can.

    Good Luck--



    very wise. I went through an emotional time quite a few years ago and blew up. Took my head about 12 months to recover from blowing that account. Took a pounding i did, just when your down and things can't get any worse, BANG!

    All the best dude
  4. I went thru an unwanted (on my part) divorce in mid to late 2002. Followed my best month ever in profits (before bomb drop) with my worst months ever.

    One day in particular I was trading 10-lots in the ES and it was a sideways session. I sat there in front of the screens, emotionally bitter, frustrated and bent. Detached from the whole aspect of trading, I just clicked in orders... short, long, reverse, reverse, reverse in mindless fashion.

    -$20,000 later by closing bell, I realized there was a problem with trying to trade thru any significant emotional event. Divorce ranks very high on that list, and its effect lingers longer than one would imagine.


    Words of experience: cease trading (you did that) and stay away until things settle in your mind. Understand it will take longer than you expect or desire before recovery. Do seek help from support groups, counseling and/or family & friends. Do not worry about anything else other than getting yourself comfortable with a new path in life.

    You have my sincere sympathy, best wishes and prayers. Divorce is no process anyone should have to endure in life, sadly enough it is all too common these days.
  5. Thanks for sharing this with us
    I was divorced 5 years ago.
    They say it takes 1/2 as long as the relationship period to get over it...as average
    in my case I was married for 2 years
    took me good 2+ years to get it over.
    I'll tell u though...it messed my trading for sure
    But one thing that really me during those times was some yoga
    no gym...no running...
    I got really fit in about 2 weeks of doing it...especially the breathing methods
    I still do it...helps alot...
    Drinking and /or smoking is not a good idea

  6. Qty


    Think you’re wise to stop trading for now.

    But for not become a stranger to the market, keep working on your trading system, hardware, software, etc.

    Maybe nitro could help you :)

    Best luck.

    P.S. – go to the Expo if you feel lonely :)
  7. Lucrum


    Undoubtedly it's different for everyone but my first big blowout occurred during my divorce back in 92'. And at least part of it was the divorce itself. If your not sure how you'll deal with it taking a break is probably wise.
  8. <i>"I'll tell you what worked for me."</i>

    <b>Hypo</b>, with all due respect, that would be a good cure for a marriage that was purely physical, nothing else. If your ex-wife was merely a sex toy to you and that's it, she was easily replaced as you prescribed.

    Of course, sometimes the next long-term relationship is with a woman who is highly over-sexed. Not sure what the cure would be to get over that one... abstinence, perhaps?
  9. Ask any lush for an effective cure, and he will answer: "Hair of the dog!" (Pun intended.)
  10. Joab


    The only time I lose $$$ is when I'm having a bad day, physically or emotionally.

    You have two choices:

    1. Trade through the divorce and pain and lose $$$.


    2. Take some time off and do another job till you are feeling better and make $$$.


    #10     Jan 31, 2007