Refuse to let her use your daughter as a bargaining chip - as in don't see her any more? Any access to kids seems to require the mum to want to participate. Her not showing up, no penalty. Him no showing up, he's not committed to the relationship, and further access can be reviewed.
It's not real easy to be in a positive state of mind when the state that took your fortune is then taking most of your income, for "child support". Watching that money not be spent on the child is unpleasant. Not having proper access as not great. Doesn't feel especially free.
The scorpion and the fox crossing the river.. I had this on my Facebook for a while, when I was in the thick of it. Quite apt. And, indeed, their nature.
That trick does not work when you have kids. It's Best to get along with the mom and kids for the future benefit of the kids. As a man, you will have to bite that bullet and deal with the mom if kid stay with mom. Just do what the judge tell you to do when kids are involved.
Yes, there is not much you can do , just pay the child support and keep it moving. Just do your part man and be done with it.
It's a state of mind. Say you are paying her $2000/month for child support. Let's say she spends $500/month on the child. There are only one of two options: 1. She is spending $1500/month on herself which makes her happy 2. She is investing $1500/month which gives her independence In either case, she is making her life better. Now you come along and say "HOW DARE YOU SPEND CHILD SUPPORT ON YOURSELF". Well guess what, it's fungible. No way you're going to get away with that in court. There are probably only a handful of cases where child support is reduced with such a large amount because most of it goes to the lawyer and it's a racket. Instead, show that it doesn't affect you. There will then be less incentive to try and piss you off and may accidentally start spending money on the kids. How do I know this? I did this.