Daylight Shaving Time

Discussion in 'Events' started by hii a_ooiioo_a, Apr 6, 2003.

  1. The S.E.C., claiming that people shaving in the dark hours are more likely to get nicks and cuts, has created a new rule requiring all traders to shave during daylight hours only. In order to facilitate implemention of this rule, they have proposed that for the next six months we should all set our clocks forward by one hour. Therefore, if you do not set your clock ahead today, you will find that the NYSE opens monday morning one hour earlier than usual.

    This rule of course, should have no effect on those traders who have beards. As long you confine your facial hair maintenance to manually trimming it with scissors, the S.E.C. rule should not affect your trading abilities or the effectiveness of your trading methods. Those traders who shave once or more per day will need to adapt their trading styles to conform to the S.E.C.'s new rule.

    Traders who shave their legs will be charged an extra fee if they start to shave one leg and then either stop shaving or change to the other leg before finishing the first leg. You will be charged $.90 for starting to shave a leg without finishing it. But this fee will be offset by a re-imbursement of $.90 for each armpit you shave. However, the armpit must be shaved the same day as the cancelled leg shaving to qualify. There is no rollover for armpit compensation fees, but on any day that you shave an armpit, you may use a rollover anti-perspirant without any extra charge, if you route your orders through SMART. Do the SMART thing, and use the anti-perspirant.

    Remember to set your clocks forward one hour.
  2. I can already see qdz complaining about this SEC rule because it discriminates against those traders who do not yet have significant facial hair growth.
  3. qdz3


    Okey, doky. I will be watching the next time when people are shaving. Thanks for your business.

  4. bobcathy1

    bobcathy1 Guest

    LMAO......:D :D

    Yes, they have to be very clear on their wording in order to not face discrimination suits......
    What about women with facial hair?
    What about men who shave their legs?
    Is there a clause about bikini hair?

    Enquiring minds want to know:confused:
  5. LMAO.
  6. This rule is intended to be non-discriminatory. It applies equally to men as to women. However, each person will find it to be more or less of an inconvenience depending upon their own situation.

    Women with facial hair should have less of a problem, as their shaving needs are usually far less frequent than their male counterparts. Any woman who needs to shave her face each day will find that her real problem is something pre-existing to this rule, for which the S.E.C. cannot be blamed. There is no added penalty for tweezing. Tweezing will continue to be permitted at whatever hour day or night is most convenient to you. Also hair-removal gels, or any other hair removal system which does not involve the use of a razor, is exempt from this rule. However, if you use a hair removal gel, or tweezers, or home-electrolysis, in combination with shaving, it will be subjected to the DST rules.

    Men who shave their legs will have the same treatment as women who shave their legs.

    Bikini area shaving is not covered by the DST. However, before shaving your bikini area you will be required to sign (electronically, with a mouse click) a disclaimer acknowledging that bikini shaving is an activity which carries substantial risk, and is not for everyone.
  7. bobcathy1

    bobcathy1 Guest

    ROFL:D :D
  8. Huh?
  9. hii a_ooiioo_a, WOW LMAO
  10. day light savings just meens us arizona traders must wake up an extra hour early...:mad: but on the bright side we get done an hour early too :D
    #10     Apr 6, 2003