I applaud you for your honesty. But I think with trading, there are many steps to master before you make it. Taking money out of the equation is one of the last few where trading just become a function of trade size vs. account size. This of course takes into account probabilities and all that jazz, but in the end, it all comes down to math. Simply put, if you give a proficient trader a 100k account he will more than likely be able to trade it the same as a 1 million dollar account. Once the fear of loss is gone, it all just comes down to percentages and grinding it out and taking your setups. In your case, it sounds like you're still struggling with this last step. I'm not say everyone can overcome it, but this means that you are only able to teach certain aspects of trading, but the all important psychological aspect eludes you as well. Its certainly the hardest aspect I think. If you know what you're doing, if you have traded through all market conditions, if you know that you will always act in your best interests, then the size to trade is simply a function of account size. I guy with 5k can maybe trade 1 micro ES proficiently. If he had 25k, then he could do 5 MES. Likewise, a 500k account should have him trading 10 ES. Granted, many when they start scaling up start to trade it differently, and often times this is where problems arise, but the proficient trader understands it all comes down to math and percentages.
"If he had 25k, then he could do 5 MES. Likewise, a 500k account should have him trading 10 ES." How about a 500M account?
You certainly get into liquidity constraints. ES isn't as thick as it used to be. The size posted at each BID and ASK isn't the same as years ago, and I think the volume is a bit down as well. If you need to buy 100 contracts at one price level, it might be possible, but looking at volumes over 5 seconds as an example, you might be moving the market. But of course if you're going to lets say accumulate 1000 contracts over several minutes, no issue at all I would say.
Everyone finds the level and type of trading that fits best in their life. If you are honest with yourself you need to look back longer term and see what kind of instruments and stocks have been profitable. Some of your recent choices against trend don't lend themselves well to swing trading imo. I find in this market, momentum plays on trend with some sort of supporting news, sentiment, or fundamental basis do really well. That will change at some point.
The neck pain, and hair loss were due to stress, and fear of failure. 6 months into my trading career, I was freaking out. Thanks to being best friends with the star trader, I was allowed to remain. Otherwise, I would have been fired. His comment (he was probably exasperated by my utter lack of activity/balls): "Hey, just lose man, I want you to lose money every single day" was my inflection point. Had he not said that, my trading career would have certainly ended in just a few more months. Everything went back to normal, once I started making money. It was a radical change, and my lifestyle changed as well (miss being 22 years old). By the way, I reviewed Bookmap, and yep, nothing special or useful for me. I also noticed that every single speaker on their YouTube channel is selling something. A couple are sneaky enough to imply they are private, independent traders, and direct you to their Twitter account. Yep, in their Twitter account, there is the website (which they are part of) selling you something!!! I also checked out the general reviews of some of these speakers; appalling to say the least. I would love to meet a person, not selling anything, that can attribute $1M in profits, directly tied to their use of BookMap. The people I know, already made their money, way before. So @easymon1 you do not need to look there. But feel free to check it out. I think I am officially done with my bread & butter trading strategy. It ONLY took 23 years... FUCK...
There are a lot of moving parts to a day trading strategy. First you identify some parts, then many*. Then you assemble them together into a system. Then you try to use them correctly. Things change underneath some times. Sometime you upgrade parts or modify them and have to reintegrate or regress. Stabilization can take a long time. Some say, system stabilization can take as long as development. 2X rule of thumb. Everyone's mileage varies. It seems, somewhat ironically, the most complex part about system building is really about designing it to be simple to use, while being robust. All this takes trading skills. If you want to be a trader, you need more than what is offered on reddit, YouTube, twitter etc. * This is where the OP is starting. I would say 60% never get past this point. 30% more can't assemble a complete system. That leave about 10%. Usually at that point they can use their own system.
I still remember when there were +3,000,000 contracts a day traded. On the other hand the notional value has increased a lot so you need less contracts to hedge a portfolio.