In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
Citic Pacific ousted Financial Director Leslie Chang, 54, and Financial Controller Chau Chi Yin, 52, this week because the company said the trades weren't authorized. The contracts incurred losses as the Australian dollar tumbled about 30 percent against its U.S. counterpart from a 25-year high reached in July. Chang and Chau couldn't be reached for comment. Chang and Chau ``didn't understand the potential downside risks,'' Managing Director Henry Fan said in an Oct. 21 interview. Chang and Chau? Better they had Cheech and Chong then these scumbags. Short me some Yen man.
Further updates: The chairman of struggling Seppuku Bank is said to be "gutted", the board of Judo bank were floored, and even the high-flying investment bankers at Aikido Capital were totally thrown by the crisis. Reports that Jiu-Jitsu Bank's liquidity crunch will force them into submission are yet to be confirmed, but analysts expect them to tap out any day soon or get taken over in a reverse-buyout from their Brazilian subsidiary. Finally, the head of Tonkatsu bank has cooked the books and will probably get the chop.