Yep, you're right. That is the key issue. I don't know yet if my psychology will hold up and it is the one thing that keeps me from quitting at the moment.
Just don't go to work tomorrow, Problem solved. Or are you a slaving peasant and have to stay? Your ego can't take the fact that a woman has control over you either so just quit... Done
Consider also being a free lancer, so you can balance trading and some paycheck flow. I did the same gradually.
Interesting discussion. to the op: Forget your employer. For the last three years you have spent at least 9 hours of the best part of the day devoted to doing something you clearly don't like for an employer you also don't like. That is a lot of valuable time; you don't get that back later. It is not good for you or the employer. Move on. Get a job you enjoy or move to full time trading, if that is what you want to do. Read Walden.
I'm terribly sorry, but I disagree this is the reality of most Americans. I have worked several crummy jobs and 3 great jobs, in US and abroad, and even a crummy job but run by my best friends. I think the 'employer maximizes for least cost' vs 'employee minimizes for most pay' runs on another dimension: fulfilling job vs unfulfilling job. 'most Americans' - I disagree to single out Americans because I saw this in the other country as well as US, also working with people of different nationalities in the other country. Sorry, I only have an anecdotal account, I did not do a full survey with proper sampling techniques, separating by categorical values. What I found in myself and others, in a fulfilling job or the crummy one with my best friends, employees and myself put forth good effort in doing the job, and pay was not much of a concern. In unfulfilling jobs, I found in myself and others, try to do the barest minimum, make lame choices based on what can be justified, watch everyone else to see where the minimum bar is, and make fun of those who did put out some effort. Working with my best friends was great, really gave me the perspective of the owner (I'm too lame to ever run my own business). Since then I've grown up and take this position: If you feel the deal is not good or fair, in honesty and respect to everyone, it's best for you to renegotiate the deal, or cancel the deal. The worst is to endure a bad deal and passively aggressively take it out on others involved. It's best for you, not just the company. Anyways, I think you may be right, the game-playing coworkers may have tried to get back at you, and your boss is thinking, 'fine, you !@&&&$ little !&#@^%#@s, you need me to be angry mom, so be it!' and she bans everything, simplest choice for her, fair for everyone, end of office drama. I'm sure she really wants to get back to work, run things smoothly, and everyone happy. I'm sure she's a nice person, I hope you can help her out. Either way, I hope things work out well for everyone.
I'm not sure you want to emulate "most Americans". "Most Americans" would be penniless in retirement were it not for reliance on the federal government. Look, it's your problem to deal with. You asked the question, so you shouldn't be surprised that the fact that you're wasting a fare amount of your employer's time should bother some people. I would say, you're going to soon be on the chopping block if you don't quit trading and prove to your boss that you care about your job. With that said, you need to prepare to be unemployed soon, IMO. I would work on a back up job, that coincides with your trading schedule better, or save like a madman in order to try your hand at trading full time.
It sounds like you work in a sweatshop. No pay raise and no time off in three years. Is that even legal in the US? You definitely need a better job, even if you don't quit to trade full-time. Fwiw I've worked for more than one woman and for more than one man. The best boss I ever had was a man. The worst boss I ever had was another man. One of the women I would rank as my second best boss. I think many female bosses in general may feel more pressure to prove themselves by cracking the whip but it really comes down to the company. Unless your female boss also owns the company, it's really the sweat shop you working for that's the real problem.
It's not that women are terrible bosses. My boss is actually pretty good. It's that women in general DO NOT understand trading. I think what's her name on here is the only woman that understand. Heh. Sorry. Long day. Believe it or not I was working today. The company operates 24/7 365 days a year. The company isn't a sweatshop. It's just that the industry is drying up. Every one in here is pretty much trapped in this company and they have a "work slave" attitude if you understand what I mean. There was even a cake the company gave recently in the shape of chains and shackles to celebrate some guy's 10yo anniversary here. Me I have my trading opportunity to pursue to get out.
@zedDoubleNaught and @clacy That's why I said "most". There are some good jobs out there but they are few. Most people I've met have hated their jobs. Are soulless. And try to do the bare minimum to get by. You might not have consider that most people I've met are younger than 50.
Why in hell should she understand trading? She's not running a prop shop or, my guess is, anything related. You seek an unbelievable level of understanding for you needs and those needs include shaving the work day so you can run a side business. This nonsense is truly an illness.