no, this is not correct. without getting into specific numbers, it went like this: started during bull market. made some money. started living off account, paid taxes, bought a new car (thought i was gonna be rich at the time). as i started to become more familiar with trading, i tried many different things. this trial and error slowly reduced the size of my account. then pdt rules are enacted. i totally changed what i was doing. eventually i switched to e-minis. i like the e-minis, but i jumped in too soon. trading a leveraged instrument when you don't fully know what you're doing is a quick way to lose your money. account started to rapidly decrease here. the last few months i've been doing ok. i've realized some very important things in the last 3-4 months. but now i just don't have enough money to realistically grow my account, especially while living off it.
ok.. interesting comments. are you a psychiatrist? i really don't disagree too much with your comments, although i would say it's easy to tell i'm frustrated, etc. but you still had good comments. as you can tell, part of me is a mess right now. but i don't think my feelings are abnormal. anyone who went through what i am going through would probably feel the same way. these whiny posts on ET are thoughts i keep inside in my every day life. i do not discuss my trading with anyone i know. i don't tell people when i have good or bad days. however, these are the thoughts i have, but i just don't tell anyone. i don't tell anyone because they just wouldn't understand. i would only bother discussing my trading difficulties with someone who has already been through it, or is experiencing it currently, too. some people ask why i complain here. WELL THAT IS WHY. i feel here is the only place where there are people who have been through similar situations and can relate. i would also like to say that i am not sitting here crying over this or anything. i could hang out with my friends tomorrow and still be the most fun to be with of the whole group. no one would ever be able to tell i'm really in a miserable financial crisis with my whole future up in the air. i have 2 very different sides to me. when i'm with people, i probably seem like a crazy joker. i'm always having fun at parties, drinking beers, etc. but when i'm alone i am a totally different person. when i'm alone i read trading books, science books, play guitar... basically, i think i'm a pretty deep person when i'm by myself. when i'm with people, i probably just seem like the average guy that likes to have fun, but i'm really more complex than that. i meant to say this earlier, but i'm gonna get to the heart of my STRIFE. it shouldn't be a surprise to many ET people that I am not religious. if you are religious, fine, but i am not. it is my belief that the current life i have is all i will ever have. i do not believe in a heaven and i do not believe i'm coming back in another life. i totally believe this life i have now is all i will ever have. because of this, i want it to be the best that it can possibly be. that's partly why i aimed high and went after trading. it can be very rewarding if done well. i totally feel like i am not living up to how i want my one life to be. i put a lot of time into this and i was not smart enough to make things turn out right. if i had done it correctly, i could have a house, have parties all the time, and have a good life. now, instead, i'm stuck still struggling 4 years later. because i fucked everything up, by the time i own a house now, i'm gonna be 40+. some people say that they have a dream that occurs frequently. i can't recall any particular dream, but i VERY FREQUENTLY wake up in the middle of the night thinking to myself that I AM going to be dead someday. IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN, I WON'T LIVE FOREVER. i will then start thinking how i'm fucking it all up. i will think things like, i'm not going to live forever and things are not going according to how i had planned. things are taking longer than i thought they would and life is passing me by. day by day, i'm getting closer to my death date. i am also not getting any younger. i am very frustrated in this sense. i could get into this more, but this is enough for now..
Gordon, It sounds like you're fine. When you can save enough to replenish your acount to say, the 10,000 level or so, I would jump back in, and paper trade as much as possible in the interim. I half expect I might find myself in the same circumstances down the road (hope not though). I fully believe the truism that many (most?) great traders blew out at least once. I wouldn't sweat it (not that u are). Just trust your reasons for trading in the first place, and pick yourself back up. If you lasted three years, you were doing something right during that time. If on the other hand, something inside is telling you to move on (sorry, didnt read your whole thread) then listen to it, right? Good luck.
Sorry, aphexcoil, I can't disagree more: This would be the shortcut to hell. You can't lie. Your interviewer would find out pretty soon. If he/she doesn't find out then guess who your co-workers are. Do you want to work in such a company? If he/she finds out and hires you in spite of it then you can guess that this is a really shitty job. Do you want that job? If you hate your job you might try some escapism like trading or quit the job before having enough money to start trading again. In both cases you don't have good chances to succeed in trading. I didn't succeed in my PhD. That was my biggest failure in life so far - it took a while until I found out what went wrong. And now it's my answer for the standard question in job interviews "what was the biggest failure in your life". Most people try to show off in job interviews - I don't. If I show off I get the job that's made for the guy I pretend to be. If I'm honest I might get the job that is perfect for me. Of course those job interviewers pretend about their company, too, but that's another story. GG, if you job interviewer doesn't honor your trading experience then it's the wrong job.
one thing that stuck out to me about your 1st post in this thread was that you brought the account back up to 2k by writing a check, and then considered the next trade a hail mary trade. why? hail mary trade, going for a touchdown? when you're down, isn't it more wise to cut your position size, play small, get back in the positive? you said that you lost 200 bucks on the hail mary trade. so you lost 10 percent of your account in a single trade. why would you be taking all that risk when you haven't been doing well? im curious to know what you were thinking when you decided to come up with the idea of a hail mary trade. also, what is so bad about getting a job, even a minimum wage one? Hell, I worked for UPS loading packages into trailors. you work hard, then you can become supervisor in 3 months. People dis minimum wage jobs, but they're not bad. And you can still work on your trading while having these jobs. So by getting a job, even a crappy one, you can have a steady income, and work on what you like to do, trading. a perfect job is a graveyard shift security guard. you just sit there, and you can read all trading books you want, go through charts, etc. Why dread getting a job? Hey, I don't know you, and I really have no idea what your situation is. So if this sounds like criticism, don't take it that way. Hell, What do I know, anyway. Jake
25 years old.......you are exactly where you should be in life....struggling to make something of yourself so keep your head up; your doing just fine. I agree with dp though, grab your gonads and go find youself a job...your negativity and unhappiness does not come from your inability to trade, this should be the first thing you figure out before trying to trade again.....peace p.s. I wish you the best of luck...
What do you want? Do you want to trade or do you want to have a house and a party every evening? You think you're fucking up because you don't get filthy rich in no time? Aren't you glad that you are back to reality? I now and then dream this dream of becoming rich quick, too. - sometimes after a big win and always before a big loss. Since this issue makes you waking up in the night you should seek professional help - a psychologist or a psychatrist. To win in the markets you have to resolve this issue. Trading isn't an option for the time being. So do what's next on your list of favourite jobs. (Note: *your* list, not the one of your parents or whoever you want to impress). Go for it - even if you have to go back to college for it. If you like it and have some talent then you'll be good at it and that will make it possible to earn some decent money. Building up a new trading stake will be a side effect. Don't even think about doing a McJob as long as you don't have to. You live now. Enjoy what you do now. If you're always living in the future you'll never live. There won't be a St. Petrus at heaven's gate asking you what you achieved in your life. Sorry for the rant - just my 2 cents.
Jake, I agree 100%. When I'm having a difficult time in the markets, I put restrictions on myself and I slow right down... to a snail's pace. That helps clear my mind and build confidence without putting myself in a dangerous situation. gotta_trade