My esteemed associate Dr. Arthur Deco and I invested more money over more years than we would care to admit with novice system developer Joe Doaks to find for us the Holy Grail of index futures daytrading. This week he brought it to us, we suspect only because we threatened to cut off his gravy train and let him try to live off of Social Security while trying to find other credulous clients to scam. We had envisioned the gleaming silver chalice of legend, rimmed in gold and studded with precious stones. What Doaks brought us more closely resembled a stained and sagging paper coffee cup, but no matter, it functions as advertised. So here we are to bid our fond adieus and fuck-ieu's to ET, as is obligatory upon achieving success. If you wish to follow in our crooked muddy footsteps, we recommend that you take to heart this famous dictum of Lao Tzu: "Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know." We leave as our legacy to ET the following classification of ET fairy tales, inspired by the Aarne-Thompson system. We have numbered so as to provide ample space for additions by our unfaithful readers. 100: Free mentors have no ulterior motive. 200: Free mentees will take their mentoring to heart. 300: Significantly positive expectancy systems have been revealed on ET. 400: Gurus whose following is solely on ET have working systems. 500: A commercial system developer will sell a positive expectancy system for an affordable price. 600: You can learn to trade in less than five years losing less than $50,000. 700: The technical analysis charting functions offered by vendors provide value. 800: ET is a continuing source of valuable trading knowledge. 900: Most ET posters are successful and trade for a living. Feel free to add new high order classifications or subgenres. We are out of here. Thanks for all the fun, ET.