The equity markets close at 4pm. Whatever activity you see after hours is strictly for Chuck Norris purposes. He likes to trade alone.
Chuck Norris sent the following items to the IRS in 1977: - A picture of himself. - A blank 1040 form with his name on the top and "FUCK YOU" scribbled in blood across the front. He has never heard from the IRS again.
Chuck Norris had insider information on one of his trades. The SEC had the audacity to make a phone call to question the trade. The conversation went something like this: SEC: Mr Norris, We are calling in rega..... then dead silence. Chuck Norris had reached through the phone and choked the SEC investigator to death.
35 years ago, chuck norris threw a single punch that killed the following: 1. Communism 2. Polio 3. Hippies 4. Scurvy
Lesson learned, you must not call him on his cellphone since he can secretly move to approach you while talking. So always call him on his landline.
Global warming has been found to be caused by Chuck Norris doing pushups, which is spiraling the earth closer to the sun.