Woopsie Street Journal reports that last Thursdays' sell off happened after Chuck Norris was seen entering HQ of a big trading house & demanding an explanation why his trading platform wouldn't let him short Lehman's shares. After not receiving a "reasonable" explanation Mr Norris kicked a trader in the head. A trader flew across the room & landed on his boss's computer keyboard which then initiated a market order to sell all client portfolios. Unbelievable, but true.