Chuck Norris Trading Facts

Chuck Norris doesn't use multiple strategies.

There is only one strategy ... his.

 

Chuck Norris does not buy, ne owns!

 

Chuck Norris masturbates to Timmays pennystocking DVD.

 

Actually, Chuck Norris doesn't need to scratch his head, he made so much money by just trading upon ET tips.

 

There is only one profitable way to trade - Chuck's way!

 

Chuck Norris is the ballsiest trader ever.

In fact, each of his testicles is larger than the other one.

 

Chuck Norris was notorious for his Viscious Wild Ass Punch trades. Thus VWAP execution was born.

The tech bubble burst when Chuck Norris disovered that Bill Gates had referred to HIM as "Mr. Softee".

 

There is only one button on Chuck's trading terminal - take profit!

 

Chuck Norris doesn't shop at a grocery store -- he takes delivery of commodity futures. Limits are imposed because of his appetite, and his appetite alone.


When Chuck Norris takes a dump, the VIX jumps several points.

He then wipes his ass with certifictes of IP stock.

 

It can now be revealed.

Blue horseshoe is...Chuck Norris.