What she asks: "Do you like the blue dress or the red dress?" What you say: "You look great in the blue dress!" What she hears: "You don't look good in the red dress." What she asks: "Do you love me?" What you say: "Sure." What she hears: "No." What she asks: "Do I look I'm gaining weight?" What you say: "Hmmm ... its hard to tell." What she hears: "A lot."
Guy's Theory of Life If you can't eat it. And can't have sex with it. Piss on it. (Guy is interchangable with Dog) Men are easy. Women are complicated.
A few of my favorites: Never ask a woman why she is angry at you. She'll either get angrier at you for not knowing, or she'll tell you. Either way you lose. The more I understand women, the better my Harley looks. She who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words. On women swearing: They know the words but not the music. --Mark Twain Love -- the delusion that one woman differs from another. --H. L. Mencken To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. --Helen Rowland For some reason I confide to her those details of my life so she can use them against me later... --Robert X. Cringely Women just want men who'll share your hopes and dreams. If you don't, we'll bitch at you until you die. --Stephanie Hodge To succeed with the opposite sex tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. --Cary Grant
That must be the pickup line of all time! Aphie, take note of that one! You might be able to get laid this weekend!
Women are like markets - they're always right. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - they always want your money. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - the more you try to understand them, the more confused you'll be. Take them as they are. With or without logic.