In case any of you had a power outage and missed all the hype, CBS broadcast the first prime time mixed martial arts card last night, featuring the hyper-hyped "internet streetfighting sensation", a guy who has adopted the fighting name Kimbo Slice. As a veteran viewer of UFC, I was skeptical that CBS could do MMA justice. For one thing, they were broadcasting a card put on by some third rate outfit whose fighters have to buy tickets to get into UFC bouts. For another, the Kimbo Slice story seemed more hollywood than real. He had all of two profession fights, both against out of shape senior citizens with some lingering name recognition. The night's entertainment began inuaspiciously with a rap show and a group of dancers. I switched to Spike to watch a Chuck Lidell tribute show. After about 30 minutes of BS, CBS got their first fight started. It ended within within a minute or two. After another intermidable delay, bout number two started, only to end even more quickly. The third bout was a woman's contest featuring someone named Gina whose dad apparently had a cup of coffee with the Dallas Cowboys. Great looking girl who could fight. Too bad she didn't make weight, which made things a bit unfair for her opponent who looked like she was suffering from cutting weight herself. Actually this was the best fight of the evening, as both girls were talented martial artists who knew what they were doing. It was stopped after two rounds after Gina raised a nasty welt on the other girl's face. I guess they didn't want a girl bleeding all over the TV cameras, but the stoppage seemed dubious to me. The penultimate fight featured a guy who couldn't hack it in UFC but is now the middle weight champ of this outfit. He seemed to specialize in borderline illegal tactics, and the fight was stopped in the third round after he "unintentionally" poked his opponent in the eye. When you shove your hand with fingers extended directly into your opponent's eyes, I don't see how it is unintentional, but that was the call. No contest. Lot of booing. Finally the moment had arrived. The great one, the internet sensation, the bad boy of south florida, the street fighting legend himself entered the arena. He is big, huge upper body. Like to see him take a steroid test. He is also old. Very old. They said he is 34. He looked more like 44 to me. His opponent was a goofy looking englishman with the most horrifying cauliflower ear I have ever seen. The bout began, and it bacame apparent that Kimbo has some serious punching power. Mike Tyson type power. It was also apparent he had very little in the way of martial arts skills. The englishman got him on his back and Kimbo acted like he had never been there before. The englishman had some decent if not overpowering skills. He achieved half guard easily. He couldn't really hurt Kimbo but Kimbo was being dominated. He was also getting tired. The second round was a repeat of the first. Kimbo connected with wild punches that the englishman somehow blinked off. Dude had a chin. Kimbo ate elbows on the ground. Finally Kimbo managed to land three or four punches and the ref jumped in and stopped the fight. Kimbo collapsed on the floor. I thought he might be having a heart attack. The englishman argued with the ref and thumped him. What a fiasco. Comparing this to the smooth, high quality shows UFC puts on is like comparing a demo derby to the Daytona 500. Kimbo is the entire hope of this enterprise and someone will have to knock him out to defeat him. No way they let him lose otherwise. He has a lot of heart but he would last about a minute or two against any top UFC heavyweight.