"You see, some time ago, all of us bankers, using our various decision-making processes and analytical formulas, arrived at the conclusion that real estate loans in the United States were the most reasonable, judicious investments for the capital available from our investors, patrons, and partners; however, those loans are no longer viable." One reporter asked how such investments had all gone bad at the same time. "You see all of us bankers, using our various appraisal skills and decision-making processes arrived at the inevitable conclusion that real estate in the United States is now worthless. "Are the homes still standing on their lots, do people live in them, are the borrowers making payments?" and so forth. Mr. Big Head of Banking responded, "You see, all of us bankers, using our various analytical formulas and various decision-making processes have determined that, even though the underlying properties are still in existence and occupied, it is highly unlikely that the borrowers living in them will be able to make the payments over the next 15 to 40 years and will, in fact, default on the loans. So we have taken prudent steps to re-assess the safety of these soon-to-be worthless loans and accordingly lowered the values of our portfolios." "How do you suddenly just de-value the properties in such a short timespan?" Mr. Big answered, "You see, all of us bankers, using our various valuation techniques, analytical formulas and various decision-making processes just go to the computer and divide all those numbers by two. There, I've done my part... next!