We are all familiar with it. Some of the more paranoid among us believe the chart is manipulated to put us to sleep or cause us to abandon the screen just before a big move. "I just need to close my eyes for a minute." "I wonder has stocksandbondage.com updated for today?" "Has the stripper economist Frederica Hayek posted a naughty chart to her blog yet?" You may laugh or you may weep, but to my trading therapy clients it is a serious issue. And for me, too. In the present environment of low volatility, my clients are getting behind on their payments, and even asking me to prove that I am actually improving their trading. So I decided, "I will get control of the boredom issue by hard-quantifying it, and making a virtue of a vice by measuring the chart manipulation that induces boredom." The attached shows my boredom metric (times Pacific) from today's open to a bit after the FOMC non-announcement. The top pane is price, the Hydra we dare not look at directly but only reflected in the mirror of indicators. The bottom pane is boredom on a scale of zero to one. Zero is full heightened awareness signalling readiness to fight or flee. One is stone cold ennui signalling a somnambulent stuporous lack of awareness and volition. At the open, boredom ordinarily is zero, but not so today, it being FOMC announcement day. Thereafter boredom fluctuated with the vain hope of a significant manipulative pre-announcement move, but ultimately wound up around .75. The total predictability of the non-announcement never fully woke market participacts, with a .1 boredom value recognizable by the recognition, "I think it's time to break for a piss." As more dramatic examples occur in coming days, I will post them for your amusement.