Bill Maher: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism.

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by OPTIONAL777, Jan 31, 2011.

  1. New Rule: With the Super Bowl only a week away, Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, for all the F-15 flyovers and flag waving, football is our most successful sport because the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives it to the poor teams... just like President Obama wants to do with his secret army of ACORN volunteers. Green Bay, Wisconsin has a population of 100,000. Yet this sleepy little town on the banks of the Fuck-if-I-know River has just as much of a chance of making it to the Super Bowl as the New York Jets - who next year need to just shut the hell up and play.

    Now, me personally, I haven't watched a Super Bowl since 2004, when Janet Jackson's nipple popped out during half time, and that split-second glimpse of an unrestrained black titty burned my eyes and offended me as a Christian. But I get it - who doesn't love the spectacle of juiced-up millionaires giving each other brain damage on a giant flat-screen TV with a picture so realistic it feels like Ben Roethlisberger is in your living room, grabbing your sister?

    It's no surprise that some 100 million Americans will watch the Super Bowl next week - that's 40 million more than go to church on Christmas - suck on that, Jesus! It's also 85 million more than watched the last game of the World Series, and in that is an economic lesson for America. Because football is built on an economic model of fairness and opportunity, and baseball is built on a model where the rich almost always win and the poor usually have no chance. The World Series is like Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. You have to be a rich bitch just to play. The Super Bowl is like Tila Tequila. Anyone can get in.

    Or to put it another way, football is more like the Democratic philosophy. Democrats don't want to eliminate capitalism or competition, but they'd like it if some kids didn't have to go to a crummy school in a rotten neighborhood while others get to go to a great school and their Dad gets them into Harvard. Because when that happens "achieving the American dream" is easy for some, and just a fantasy for others.

    That's why the NFL runs itself in a way that would fit nicely on Glenn Beck's chalkboard - they literally share the wealth, through salary caps and revenue sharing - TV is their biggest source of revenue, and they put all of it in a big commie pot and split it 32 ways. Because they don't want anyone to fall too far behind. That's why the team that wins the Super Bowl picks last in the next draft. Or what the Republicans would call "punishing success."

    Baseball, on the other hand, is exactly like the Republicans, and I don't just mean it's incredibly boring. I mean their economic theory is every man for himself. The small market Pittsburgh Steelers go to the Super Bowl more than anybody - but the Pittsburgh Pirates? Levi Johnston has sperm that will not grow up and live long enough to see the Pirates in a World Series. Their payroll is about $40 million, and the Yankees is $206 million. They have about as much chance at getting in the playoffs as a poor black teenager from Newark has of becoming the CEO of Halliburton. That's why people stop going to Pirate games in May, because if you're not in the game, you become indifferent to the fate of the game, and maybe even get bitter - that's what's happening to the middle class in America. It's also how Marie Antoinette lost her head.

    So, you kind of have to laugh - the same angry white males who hate Obama because he's "redistributing wealth" just love football, a sport that succeeds economically because it does exactly that. To them, the NFL is as American as hot dogs, Chevrolet, apple pie, and a second, giant helping of apple pie. But then again, they think they're macho because their sport is football, when honestly - is there anything gayer than wearing another man's shirt?
     
  2. +10 :D
     
  3. Bump. Someone from the right needs to refute this seemingly excellent argument
     
  4. Ricter

    Ricter

    Ooh, ooh, I know! (waving hand in air)
     
  5. If you want to celebrate mediocrity and uncertainty: socialism certainly is the way to go.
     
  6. Pekelo

    Pekelo

    Of course stupid argument, but anyway....

    The players in the Hall of Fame are certainly not mediocre and the Steelers regularly making it to the Super Bowl is a certainty... :)
     
  7. Hello

    Hello

    If socialism meant we could all play football for a living and make a minimum of 250k a year, up to a 20 million a year, with no maximum anyone individual can make, id be all for it.

    Football isnt socialism, Maher is an idiot. Are You going to tell me that the Dallas cowboys make the same amount as the Houston Texans?

    If Maher is so interested in socialism, why doesnt he go out and visit the large number of homeless people in california, and give away the millions he has in the bank, so that they can live?
     
  8. fhl

    fhl

    You think the reason it's popular among conservatives is.....

    because they engage in a neo-commie system?

    That it has nothing to do with behemoths crushing and pulverizing each other?

    Where did you get this? From a women's studies course?

    :p
     
  9. You bunch of leftist wackos! There are plenty of capitalist arguments (contra-socialism).

    1. The players earn their pay according to merit, not affirmative action. There's huge disparity in compensation among each player.
    2. We have trickle-down economics, where the little guys can sell hot dogs, beer, etc and get paid. On the outside, sports bars benefit.
    3. Fox gets $3 million for each 30 second ad.
    4. If the players' unions go on strike, the bad side effects are felt in few areas; it doesn't affect the general population. Tax payers are not affected.

    1 & 3 above are huge. [​IMG]
     
  10. Pekelo

    Pekelo

    In a way, yes:

    http://football.calsci.com/SalaryCap.html

    Revenue sharing

    "About 2/3 of the NFL's money comes from the TV deal. The players get about 2/3 of team revenue. So, more or less, the TV contract goes to pay the players. These contracts are typically for about 5 years, and every time they are renegotiated the price goes up. So do player's salaries.

    The money from the TV contract is share and share alike - the Redskins, Cowboys, Bills, and Packers get identical checks. This money is key to the success of the smaller franchises. Without the TV contract money, there is simply no way on earth that Green Bay could ever field a competitive team.

    There are a lot of other sources for NFL money. NFL licensed jerseys, for example that Randy Moss jersey you put on your kid last Halloween when you dressed him up as a demon, result in license fees going to the NFL. This money is also equally shared.

    When the teams play, there is a "gate," the money people pay for seats. This is in the neighborhood of about $2.5M per game. This money is split 60-40, with the visiting team getting 40% of the gate. Because of this teams like Jacksonville and Arizona just love it when the Packers or Cowboys come to play. These are the two or three games each year these teams can count on selling out, and the money they get is very welcome. Sometimes you will find that to buy a ticket to see the Packers on the road you have to buy a package of two or three tickets. This is nothing more or less than a device to get money from Packers fans into the pockets of the other teams owners."
     
    #10     Jan 31, 2011