Be nice to yourself for breaking rules?

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by qlai, Mar 15, 2020.

  1. qlai

    qlai

    So this is not the first time I hear the importance of positive self talk and forgiveness. What I am confused about is this - shouldn't there be consequences for breaking rules? If so, how harsh? What is the appropriate "punishment" if this keeps happening?



    P.S. This lady is a sponsor here, so let's be civil.
     
    Nobert likes this.
  2. Sekiyo

    Sekiyo

    The consequences for not following your plan are the same consequences that happen when you play the Russian roulette.

    No need to beat yourself up.
    The market is going to humble you.
     
  3. If I don't follow my rules, then I just get out once I realize it. That's punishment enough.
     
  4. A spanking, of course :D
     
  5. qlai

    qlai

    Not necessarily. Often market rewards bad behavior. Many times I choose not to take a stop and work myself out of the trade at break even or better. While consciously I blame myself for breaking rules, subconsciously I pat myself on the back!
     
  6. Sekiyo

    Sekiyo

    Often is 5 in 6.
    Exactly what I’ve said.

    Thank you.

    EDIT:
    I don’t think the market rewards bad behavior.
    If it does so it’s only to feed the turkey within you.
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2020
  7. Andrea Wylan

    Andrea Wylan Sponsor

    Since "this lady" is me, I think I will respond!!

    I work with many traders to turn their trading around. I have come to see that kind self talk works well! Abusive self talk doesn't. It just leaves us abused!

    In fact, I believe this is the most important element to successful trading. If your spouse was mean to you and put you down, it wouldn't help you improve what you were doing. It would probably just hurt you or anger you and make you less stable.

    It doesn't mean you condone "bad behavior" but it does let you see your behavior from a more neutral point of view if you are not bashing yourself. The more clearly you can see yourself, the more choice you have in how you react.
     
    Onra likes this.
  8. qlai

    qlai

    Andrea, yes I got that from the video, but that doesn't answer my questions. Should there be consequences for breaking the rules? If not, how do you stop the behavior?
     
  9. Andrea Wylan

    Andrea Wylan Sponsor

    :) Thank you!
     
    Nobert likes this.
  10. Andrea Wylan

    Andrea Wylan Sponsor

    Consequences? Good question. What do you guys think?
     
    #10     Mar 15, 2020