Are you ready for a huge influx of the nigerian 419 scam?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by peilthetraveler, Apr 3, 2007.

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  2. Bring it on, I say. Let's join together as one family of nations and triple the funding for this urgent, worthwhile, humanitarian project.

    Any email user, anywhere on this planet, who falls for a Nigerian 419 scam in this day and age 1) is asking for a financial loss and 2) needs to have his or her email privileges stripped away. It's a privilege, not a right... let Darwin's natural selection do its work quietly while they peck at those keys.
  3. The following is a sample of the most popular courses from the Unversity of Nigeria A complete course guide is sent to all enrolled students.

    Macro Economics 101 ( CRN: 85623 )
    Learn how to leverage your success with the economy of scale that mass email marketing provides. Sending email offers one at a time is useless and a waste of your time. If you send one stupid email offer to millions and millions of people, you exert the same amount of energy and greatly increase the chance that someone will respond to your offer.

    History and World Events 400 ( CRN: 25364 )
    Many years ago, the United States started a special group to help encourage the growth of the Nigerian economy. It was called ARPANET and is the foundation for the Internet and our current economic prosperity. This course will teach you how the United States provided us with direct links to millions of wealthy and gullible households who assisted us in funneling millions of dollars back to our home country. They are a great people and we will never forget that.


    Accounting 419 ( CRN: 38821 )
    This course teaches how to leverage yourself against the American banking system. Simply write a check for at least $40,000 to an American and wait for them to deposit it. (Don't worry you don't need to have that much in the bank). Next, say the following... "Ooops, sorry Mr/Ms American. I made a mistake and sent you twice as much money." The silly American will wait until their bank says the check clears, and then will happily remit $20,000 to you. A few weeks later, your American friend will realize the check actually bounced. This always bewilders those silly people. They always looked so dazed and confused when their banks tell them the money is there...but then it isn't. Anywho, it is not our worry. We got the money for you. Now go have some fun. Take Ebay Strategies with this course for more profits.

    Statistical Psychology 200 ( CRN: 69735 )
    Research has proven that .001 percent of the world population is completely stupid, ignorant to the world around them, and will believe anything. Using this information, you will learn how to launch a mass email to 100 million people around the world and use basic psychology skills to get .001 percent of the sample group to send you money. If for example, you ask them to send you $10,000 each, .001 percent will do so and yield you a $1,000,000,000 return on your investment! (Prerequisite: Macro Economics 101 & History and World Events 400)

    Fishing 100 ( CRN: 44683 )
    This course will teach you the skills and techniques of effective bait and switch programs. The most profitable of these is advertising that people can make millions of dollars by helping you transfer money to their country. We will teach you how to hook them with this technique and then change the offer so they actually end up paying you. We have also added a new section to this course that teaches you how to liquidate your customer's bank account in the event they don't accept your baited offer. Either way, we can now guarantee your success.

    PhotoShop 200 ( CRN: 92673 )
    Once you have learned the successful skills of mass email marketing, it will be necessary to learn how to provide forged documentation to your clients for your entertainment purposes. This course will teach you how to scan passports into PhotoShop, change the picture ID, and alter any written information using the smudge tool and type over effects. You will also have a complimentary five year subscription to in which you may assume other people's identities. (We recommend selecting rich people so you may seize their financial assets.)

    Ebay Buying Strategies 419 ( CRN: 92456 )
    If Ebay is going to claim it is the world's marketplace for everything bought and sold, don't you think you should be there too? Any American idiot can make money by selling something on Ebay. But it takes a graduate from the University of Nigeria to know how to make money, NOT by SELLING, but by BUYING. Yes, this program teaches you how to make instant money with each purchase you make on Ebay. Thanks to the numerous loop-holes in the American banking system our graduates have obtained cars, trucks, property, expensive equipment and even cash for absolutely nothing! Have you ever saw something on Ebay you wanted? Take this course and we will show you how to get it for free.


    Biotechnology The Easy Way 101 ( CRN: 10023 )
    Only those big, stupid countries invest tons of money into biotechnology. We'll show you how to take their technology and sell it back to them. Ever received an email for Viagra or Propecia? It most likely came from one of our graduates.

    Retail Management 604 ( CRN: 57932 )
    Learn the secrets of purchasing Hermes and Louis Vuiton leather goods for less than $1.00 each and reselling them for over $100! You will receive a confidential list of special manufacturers in China, Thailand, and India who will make almost anything you want, place a name brand logo on it, and allow you to resell it for huge profits across Europe and the Americas. You will also learn how to reproduce music CDs, software programs, popular DVDs and Sega video games for resale purposes. We will even teach you how to rewrite "Please do not make illegal copies of this program" on all your recreated Microsoft software programs. This course is our most popular and fills up quick.


    Subliminal Seduction 400 ( CRN: 75623 )
    This is a new course that is only offered at U of N, taught by the founder of buyDHMO, Inc. Senior level status is required for admittance.

    Mergers & Acquisitions of Identities 110 ( CRN: 268541 )
    Thousands of people around the year hand their identities to our graduates on a daily basis. Our graduates email a specially formulated email that mimics the recipient's financial institution or service provider and threatens to discontinue service unless immediate action is taken to update us with all their personal information. We direct the recipient to a web site that requests their name, address, identification numbers, credit card numbers, and checking account numbers. With an average response rate of 14%, our top scholars are able to earn over US$5,000,000 annually.

  4. A good example of why the World Bank should be abolished, or at least the US should be out of it.

    Like all foreign aid, it is a method of transferring money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
  5. TGregg