I agree with you completely up till this point. But the question isn't "why"? It ought to be, "what to do about it?" In all seriousness, it needn't be "long and deep" or even "extremenly personal". Investigate the neurophysiological structure of subjective experience ("subjective" is almost reduntant, as all "experience" is basically subjective) to understand exactly why certain people react in certain ways to certain things and what to do about it. There has been quite a lot of progress in this area. Read up some on NLP, (a quasi-scientific approach to it).